Category: Thoughts

Forward Motion

Take a hit and keep moving forward.

If you’ve come across challenges in your life, there’s a good chance you’ve heard this advice.

I’m not sure where the phrase comes from. But it likely found its origin in the world of sports.

You see, in football, hockey, lacrosse and a myriad of other sports, you’ll run into some physical contact on the way to your goal. You could get tackled, hit, upended or crunched into the boards by an opponent.

All of these outcomes can abruptly put a halt to your progress. But this stoppage need not be permanent.

If you can shake off the hit, get up and keep on going, there’s a good chance you’ll reach your goal – bruises and all.

All of this provides a good allegory for life as a whole.

If you can handle the adversity you face, unbroken and undeterred, you can reach that which seek.

So, it’s important not to give up when life knocks you on your hind side. It’s better to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and keep moving forward.

Of course, this is much easier said than done.

After all, getting knocked down is humiliating. Demoralizing even.

And no matter how many times we listen to that Chumbawamba song, out first instinct is likely not to get right up again.

But yet, we do.

What drives us ahead? What propels our forward motion, even at times when every fiber of our being wants to grind to a halt?

The answer varies.

Some of us are driven by persistence. By locking in on the end goal in moments of struggle and shaking off the setbacks, those of us in this boat take the long view.

Some of us are driven by retribution. By turning a no into a yes, proving the doubters wrong and showing it can be done, those of us in this boat take an adversarial tone.

And some of us are driven by necessity. By heeding the fear of being left high and dry – by recognizing that folding to all instances of adversity gives them no viable path forward – those of us in this boat rely on survival.

These are three very different approaches. But all provide the same result.

We are inspired to ride on. We are encouraged to propel ourselves toward something greater. We are driven to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and move forward.

And in the process, we learn, grow and experience in ways we never would if there were never those bumps in the road.

Yes, while the destination remains the same, the journey becomes ever more valuable.

So, even if we fall down seven times, we owe it to ourselves to get up eight.

Forward motion is worth the effort.

Accepting The Blame

It’s our fault.

The way the world treats us. The opportunities are given and taken from us. The narrative that we see in the world around us.

It all comes back to us.

It’s tempting to blame others for our misfortunes. To blame our bosses for not giving us the raises we feel we deserve. To blame corporate executives for escalating prices on the services we rely upon.

It’s tempting to blame others for exposing us to risk. To blame self-interested investors for hitching our collective destiny to the uneasy wagon of the stock market. To blame banks for taking on bad debt risk and tanking our economy.

And it’s tempting to blame others for leaving a bad taste in our mouths. To blame Mark Zuckerberg for giving away our data to bad actors. Or the media for providing us story after story of blood and guts, deceit and divisiveness.

But it all comes back to us.

We’re responsible.

You see, our capitalist society is built upon more than the principle of free enterprise. It’s built in our image.

Yes, a system built on the tenets of supply and demand reflects our desires. Oftentimes, it reflects the best aspects of humanity. But other times, it speaks to the darkest parts of our nature.

Namely, our overindulgent, win-at-all-costs tendencies.

These flaws lie within all of us, regardless of character. While some of us outwardly display them more than others, they’re certainly omnipresent.

One look at the capitalist structure proves that.

The pursuit of the almighty dollar owns all in this society. The exchange of money plays a fundamental role in our everyday lives.

On a basic level, we trade money for the services needed to survive. That’s a value exchange that benefits both sides of the transaction.

But we’re not okay with staying at that basic level. We want to live into The American Dream.

We want the bigger house, the nicer car, the flashier amenities. We want more, more, more — regardless of the collateral damage that comes with it.

This setup speaks to overindulgence. To a game with winners and losers that continually requires us to get an edge.

The corporate world reflects these values we espouse.

It has to.

Companies come into existence to satisfy our needs. Our overindulgence keeps them alive and thriving – as it provides fledgling companies an abundance demand to serve.

All until companies reach critical mass, and become mature. At that point, the goal becomes to keep that edge. To grow that demand even further, in order to satisfy their investors and keep their competitors at bay. Just as with our individual pursuits, there can never be enough.

Humanity inevitably gets lost in this process. Companies prioritize profits over people. Customers become commodities and employees become expendable.

It’s easy to vilify faceless corporations or their executives for being heartless, greedy and cruel when we feel the sting of these decisions. But it’s far more likely that the real villain is in staring back at us in the mirror.

We are the engine that drives business. Our needs, wants and desires impact the outcomes we see.

We have the voice and power to stem the tide, to turn things in a brighter, less ugly direction.

But we must accept the blame.

We must let go of the narrative that we are good and the world is evil.

We must recognize that the flaws we have within us impact the results we see without.

And we must work to exhibit restraint. To resist overindulging or winning at the expense of others.

No more scapegoats.

The key to a brighter, warmer kinder world lies within.

Let’s seek it out.

The Value in Sharing Knowledge

What value does knowledge hold?

Some would say it holds infinite value. That the more knowledge one accrues, the better off they are.

They may be right. But only to a point.

You see, the true value in knowledge lies not in how much of it one can gain. No, it lies in how much of it one can share.

Sharing represents full utilization of knowledge. It represents taking what one has gained and using it to help others. To bridge gaps, build communities and make the world a better place.

This is where value is created. This is where legends are made.

If you don’t believe me, consider how few rewards are given simply for accruing knowledge.

It might get us into Harvard, give us the grand prize in Jeopardy or help us ace the exam.

But then what?

We won’t be remembered for how much we can remember. And we likely won’t be able to make a career out of what we retain in our heads.

We need to do more to leave our mark. We need to be actionable with what we’ve learned. To use our knowledge to solve real world problems.

This is what the world expects of us. And it’s what we must expect of ourselves.

Yes, collaboration a fundamental attribute of humanity. Our society is built upon the value of sharing knowledge. Of taking ideas, building upon them and maximizing their impact.

It’s how we’ve evolved from caves to computers. It’s how we’ve gone from walking through jungles amongst saber-toothed tigers to flying above the clouds in jumbo jets.

If the minds behind these innovations hadn’t shared them, we’d still be in the Stone Age. Or maybe even extinct.

In fact, if we hadn’t shared our accrued knowledge, our entire existence would be anonymous. History, after all, is solely the result of shared knowledge.

Fortunately, those before us have taken on the burden of sharing their ideas. And, in doing so, they’ve provided us with previously unimaginable luxuries.

We can now live longer than our ancestors did. And we can now live in greater comfort than previous generations could ever have imagined.

But we cannot drop the ball.

In an era where endless information is available in our pockets, we cannot afford to act as if our brains are intake valves.

We must remember the importance of taking it in to share it out.

We must share what we know.

We must advance the conversation.

We must leave the world a better place than we found it.

This is our purpose. And our responsibility.

So, let’s commit to it. Together.

Taking Decisive Action

If there are two words of advice I could provide for decision making, they would be Don’t Waffle.

Simple. To the point. And all too often ignored.

When we’re faced with an important choice we’re tempted to pause. To consider the risks and the alternatives we’re giving up in the process. And, subsequently, to get trapped between the paths forward.

Yes, it can be beneficial to be deliberate when facing a grave decision. But excessive deliberation leaves us stuck in neutral. It leaves us on the path to nowhere.

We understand this. But we fall into the same trap, time and again.

Why?

Because of our fear of imperfection. Of having to own a subpar result.

Even if we’re the only ones who know we chose the lesser option, it eats at us. Visions of what could have been serve to remind us that the grass is greener on the other side. Regrets abound.

This angst is so pronounced that we factor it into our decision-making process. Often long before we know what the results of our decision might be.

And therein lies the fatal flaw.

Most decisions are made ex ante, before the results are known. We can anticipate the results of our choice based on past results, future forecasts or our gut instincts. But there’s always a chance that things won’t go according to plan. There’s always a chance that we’ll be wrong.

There’s really no way of knowing that with certainty now. With all respect to psychics, Biblical figures and Tarot card readers, the future is unpredictable by nature.

Yet, our fear of undesirable outcomes causes us to gloss over this point. To take expected results as reality. To treat these ex ante decisions as ex post — or after the fact — ones.

It’s only at the point of no return that we realize how uncertain these outcomes are.

So, we pause. We agonize. We leave ourselves — and everyone waiting on our decision — in limbo.

This monster we create does no one any good. So, it’s best to slay the beast.

It’s best to take decisive action.

To treat our decision as a necessary step to move forward. And to commit wholeheartedly to our choice.

I’m a huge fan of the decisive action approach. It’s simple, yet all-encompassing.

Taking decisive action is about far more than just coming to a decision.

It’s about embracing the finality of our decision, regardless of how it turns out.

It’s about taking responsibility for everything that happens ex post. Including making reparations or apologies for anything that goes wrong on account of our choice.

It’s about continually learning from the results of our decisions. Using good outcomes to inform subsequent decisions.

Now, it’s not about throwing caution to the wind. It’s still critically important to prepare, so that we can make an informed decision.

But when the moment of truth is upon us, it does us no good to freeze.

So, let’s break the ice.

Let’s stop waffling. Let’s start moving forward.

Let’s take decisive action.

Character or Action?

How should we evaluate people?

This is a concern we all have.

It’s difficult to find the right attributes to benchmark others by, particularly when our heart conflicts with our head.

It’s a challenge to differentiate between character and action.

The divide between character and action is similar to that between effort and execution. We lavish praise for one, yet make important decisions based on another.

In essence, we love to talk about how great people are, and how great they make us feel. But we don’t ultimately judge them on those attributes.

Or at least we shouldn’t.

You see, far too often we hear a familiar refrain.

They haven’t been holding up their end of the bargain, but they’re such a nice person. So, I’m not going to do anything.”

Wait, what?

By relying on a person’s character when making a decision in this scenario, we do more than merely let them off the hook for inaction.

We shortchange ourselves.

Character is good. Character is important. But in a results-based society, character cannot be paramount.

Regardless how strong someone’s character might seem, it’s their actions that make the biggest impact. These actions can help us or hurt us. And we owe it to ourselves to avoid that second outcome.

On a basic level, we understand this delineation. We recognize that we must be firm and objective when evaluating options and making decisions.

But in practice, it’s hard to follow through. After all, we don’t want to appear as cold and heartless. We’d rather not rebuke the kindness we’ve received with a sharp “No thanks.”

So, we put character on a pedestal. We place the soft-skill of likability over the measurable attribute of productivity.

This makes us feel good. It makes us feel like we’re contributing to society, and that we care about others. But these sensations blind us to the damage we’re doing to ourselves.

Yes, despite what folk tale wisdom might say, leading with the heart can be very dangerous.

 

Quality character should be table stakes in our society. There’s no reason for us to treat others badly. We all deserve kindness and respect.

Sadly, not everyone demonstrates this level of character. So, it becomes an object of our desire.

This starts the vicious cycle that send our values out of whack. That prioritizes bedside manner over results.

We must correct course.

We must remember that actions speak louder than words. That character is no substitute for results.

We can continue to promote quality character, of course. To instill it in the hearts and minds of others. Making the world a better place is always worth doing.

But we must leave it there. And not forget where our priorities must lie.

Character speaks loudly. Action speaks loudest.

Ideal or Real?

Wouldn’t it be great if…?

We’ve started a sentence or three this way before.

The premise is simple: The status quo stinks and there’s a better reality to strive towards.

In other words, there is a gap between what’s real and what’s ideal.

This gap is a reality for all of us in an imperfect world. Life doesn’t go our way all the time.

Whether we have a lot or a little, there are things we want improved. There are days we wish we had a mulligan on. And there are times when we’re not feeling our best.

We bridge this gap through imagination and communication. By conveying to others our utopia, our ideal situation. Our Wouldn’t it be great if…? moment.

Yet, our perspective on the chasm between where we are and where we want to be can differ greatly from person to person.

Some of us approach this gulf as idealists with realist aspirations. And others look at is as realists with idealist aspirations.

Idealists with realist aspirations look at their current situation with a mixture of hope and regret. By expressing their best-case scenario for the present but then doubting its feasibility.

They might state something like the following: I wish I had enough money to buy a nice house in the suburbs. But let’s be real, that’s not going to happen anytime soon.

Realists with idealist aspirations are more blunt. They admit the imperfection of their current state but express a belief that their fortunes might change down the line.

They might say something like the following: I don’t have enough money right now to buy a nice house in the suburbs. I might not have it for a while. But hopefully I’ll get a raise and a promotion eventually, and this will change.

Neither of these perspectives is inherently wrong. They’re just two different perspectives of the same reality.

That said, there is a common misconception that idealists with realist aspirations are more optimistic than realists with idealist aspirations. I believe the opposite is true.

Admitting the less-than-ideal realities of our world doesn’t qualify as pessimism. It’s simply brutal honesty.

On the other hand, wishing for a utopia yet doubting its feasibility reeks of pessimism.

This approach is particularly bleak because it offers up an alternative reality, but punts on providing a path to get there.

This lack of initiative is concerning.

For if we want to close the gap between how it is and how it should be, we need to work at it. And we need to believe that our work can make a difference.

We need to have hope. For hope brings action. And action brings about change.

These principles are true regardless of the way we look at our current situation. Whether we consider it from a realist perspective or an idealist one, we must commit to change we want to enact in our lives.

By committing to this change, we can close the gap between our reality and our utopia. We can find the joy and contentment we seek. And we can discover the fulfillment that comes from working at determining our own destiny.

The power is in our hands. We simply need to make use of it.

So, let’s not just ask: Wouldn’t it be great if…?

Let’s make it so.

Effort vs. Execution

Try hard.

We’ve heard those words time and again.

The implication is clear: Put in the effort and the results will follow.

There’s only one problem.

It ain’t true.

Now, don’t get me wrong. There’s certainly some value to trying hard. To putting the maximum effort into whatever you do.

But ultimately, we’re not being judged on our effort.

We’re being judged on our execution.

This is a difficult concept for us to grasp. Largely because we’ve spent an entire generation praising and incentivizing effort.

My generation grew up thinking we could be whatever we wanted, as long as we tried. Our parents reinforced that theory by telling us we were special, and that a little initiative would go a long way.

Schools and extracurricular activities gave us participation ribbons, simply for making the effort to compete. Gatorade told us that if we wanted to be the next Michael Jordan, all we had to was put in the work — and drink their product. (Yes, sweat and a sports drink were all we needed to Be Like Mike.)

We carried this message like a William Wallace battle cry. Try hard and the rest will take care of itself.

Then we grew up, and reality hit us in the face like an Arctic wind.

You see, the real world doesn’t care how hard you try. It cares about results.

And if you can’t deliver those results, you will be held accountable for your failings.

I use the word failings here intentionally. For lack of execution is failure.

It doesn’t matter if you poured your heart and soul into something. If you didn’t get the needed result, you failed.

This is a harsh lesson for us to learn.

After all, we’ve conditioned ourselves to find silver linings, to tilt toward empathy in the times when things don’t go as planned. In doing so, we’ve made effort into a security blanket that covers us from the cut-and-dry nature of accountability.

But in reality, effort guarantees us nothing.

Someone with superior talent can roll out of bed and execute on a task better than we could, even with hours and hours of trying. And in a task-execution-based society, they get all the benefits. It’s as if we didn’t try at all.

So why put in the effort?

Because it builds character and demonstrates integrity.

Those attributes are valued in the long run. And they’re within your control.

Yes, execution is more highly valued in the short run. But the chances of success are determined by more than your talents.

There are elements out of your control that can negatively impact your ability to execute. If you don’t believe me, try pitching a tent in a gale-force wind.

Effort, on the other hand, is firmly within your control. And much like your attitude, it’s something that can speak volumes.

So, it makes sense to try. To give your best effort day in and day out.

But it also makes sense to focus on execution. To look for areas where you have a chance to make an impact and devote your maximum effort there.

This will give you the best chance for sustained success. And that success can help drive society forward.

Execution drives results. Are you ready to take the wheel?

The Decentering Advantage

Off the mark.

Regardless of our disposition, those are three words we don’t like to hear.

It means something’s askew. Something’s not as it should be.

This sensation doesn’t sit well with us. So, we seek a cure for it.

We set out to figure out why.

All too often, this means finding the culprit and taking corrective action. Doing so gets us to the three magic words we like a whole lot more: Back on track.

We use this framework to solve problems all the time. It’s efficient and actionable. But it features one major flaw.

Subjectivity.

You see, when something is off the mark, malice is seldom to blame. We don’t all walk around looking to stab each other in the back. No, we thrive on the concepts of trust and community. And we have done so since the earliest days of humanity, when mortal danger lurked around every corner.

So, if malicious intent is not at the root of a missed target, what is? More than likely, you can chalk up these mishaps to misunderstandings.

Misunderstandings are inherently subjective. They’re byproducts of misaligned perspectives between people.

These occurrences are perfectly natural. We each have different programming between the ears. We view the world in our own unique way.

Sometimes these visions don’t sync up with the results we observe. And we find ourselves deeply disappointed.

In these moments, the objective search for truth doesn’t work. Finding the culprit and taking corrective action does nothing except cause further collateral damage — such as bad blood, mistrust and general divisiveness.

We need to stop making misunderstandings a personal quest for vengeance. And start considering the person on the other side of the equation.

We need to decenter.

What is decentering?

It’s viewing the world from a perspective other than your own. And then using that viewpoint to find a productive solution.

Essentially, it’s taking a sledgehammer to The Blame Game, and finding a resolution upon the common ground of objectivity instead.

Now, it can be a challenge putting this strategy into motion. We’re not wired to go from me to we, to abandon our perspective in favor of another’s.

After all, a sense of pride and righteousness is at the heart of most of our conflicts. We have such conviction in our beliefs that we make disagreements personal. We treat our viewpoint as fact and declare war on those who might see the situation differently.

Stepping outside of this foxhole requires us to recognize the solution is bigger than ourselves. That our perspective might even be fueling the inferno in the first place.

It requires us to eat some humble pie, and detach ourselves from our entrenched beliefs. All for the greater good.

This is not a natural leap for us to take. Yet, it’s a critical one.

For once we can truly view the world through the perspectives of others, it can change everything. It can make us more conscientious, more empathetic and more action-oriented.

And this, in turn, can keep us from missing the mark.

Everybody wins.

So, let’s resolve to decenter today. It can deliver a brighter tomorrow for everyone.

Be Informed

There’s a message I see each time I put on my dress shoes.

It’s written right on the shoe trees I keep inside them when they’re not on my feet. And it reads, An educated consumer is our best customer.

Now, at first glance, this might seem more than a bit pretentious. Especially when it’s written on an accessory to formalwear — one of the ultimate indicators of elitism.

Yet, I think the message resonates for all of us — regardless of our attire choices or discretionary income.

There is always more we can do to stay informed. In our society, knowledge is power. And regardless of our economic standing, we have access to it.

The ability to stay informed is a gift we shouldn’t pass up. Because it wasn’t always available to everyone.

In years past, it was much more difficult for many people to access information. There were illiteracy barriers, access barriers and financial barriers — all of which prevented a large segment of society from staying informed.

These barriers drove a wedge within society. Not only did the elite have more power, influence and money, but they also had the ability to continually stay up to date. And they could use the information they gleaned to maintain their privileged position.

As the generations passed, this wedge only widened. And it led to the sizable income and opportunity inequalities present in virtually every country.

Yet today, things are different. Technology has provided billions of people access to real time information. Smartphones and high-speed Internet — futuristic fantasies when I was a child — are now globally mainstream.

And the way we gather information has changed as well. Literacy is recommended, yet not required. Videos and images are ever more popular, and the Internet allows people to access them on-demand, without paying for a TV.

But with the power of access comes added responsibility. The responsibility of staying informed.

We must be educated consumers of the information at our fingertips in order to be the best customers of our society.

No, our society is not a department store. And aside from taxes, we don’t pay for its services.

But it is a marketplace of ideas, connection and opportunity.

We have an opportunity to leverage this marketplace for our betterment. To close the gap the longstanding informational divide between Haves and Have Nots.

Taking advantage of that opportunity starts with being informed.

It starts with being actively curious. With taking the time to seek out a diverse range of perspectives. To avoid relying solely on the biased bubbles of our sphere of influence.

It starts with being deliberate. With taking in all the relevant information we can in order to make the best decisions.

And it starts with being intentional. With making self-education part of our daily routine, and our identity.

Yes, information is one of the best tools in the shed. But it only works for us if we pick it up and use it.

Make the commitment.

Be informed.

Under Control

What do you think of when you hear the word Control?

Odds are, the connotation is negative.

Maybe you think of power. Or dominance. Or micromanagement. Or manipulation. Or just someone who’s way too uptight.

Perhaps the label Control Freak comes to mind. Or the word Bossy.

In any case, the message is clear. Control can make monsters of men. And it’s hardly anyone’s redeeming quality.

It’s a shame we villainize the concept of control like this. For in a wild world, it can actually be our best ally.

It can protect us (and those around us) from undesirable outcomes. It can take some of the randomness out of life’s journey. And it can provide us with some semblance of direction when it comes to navigating our destiny.

These benefits have encouraged me to embrace the notion of control. To consider myself a Control Enthusiast. (Kudos to National Car Rental for coining that term.)

I see no shame or malice in this behavior. In my view, this is the only way I can truly influence my life’s journey.

Think about life for a moment. All the experiences we encounter are just a series of causes and effects. Of inputs and outputs.

Those outputs — or effects — are the results we get. The situations we find ourselves in. And those inputs are the actions that get us to that point.

When it comes to navigating this cause-effect construct, there are two predominant schools of thought. Some people ignore the cause entirely, and adapt to the effect. Others try and influence the causes, in order to drive the desired effects.

Control enthusiasts tend to lean toward the second strategy.

We obsess on the details of those causes and inputs. We navigate them with pinpoint precision.

We do this not out of a sense of paranoia, but rather out of a sense of logic.

You see, there’s a tendency to blame unsavory outcomes we all encounter on randomness. On bad luck or unforeseen circumstances.

But while misfortune certainly plays a role in the bad outcomes we must reconcile with in our lives, it might not be the leading one. In fact, there’s a pretty good chance that we had some say over at least some of the inputs that caused the undesired result.

That is to say, there are some things we likely could have done to reduce the chances of the outcome we ultimately encountered.

For instance, let’s say we return to our parked car after a night out and find the windows shattered and our laptop gone. We could determine in that moment that the fates are lined up against us. But it will likely be more productive to consider what we could have done to prevent the break-in. Maybe we could have parked in a safer and better lit area. Or not left our laptop in the vehicle unattended.

Or let’s say we get sick after spending three hours at a late-season football game. We can blame the crowd for spreading germs. Or we could consider how our choice of attire might have impacted our health.

The implications are clear. In both cases, we could have taken steps to better the outcome.

As they say, The less we leave to chance, the less chance we’ll get bit in the…rear end.

 

 Now, of course, being a control enthusiast won’t solve all problems. There are times when we must cede control to others. There are moments when we must place our trust in them to attain the optimal results. It can be difficult to impossible for control enthusiasts to do this without making a ruckus. And these outbursts tarnish public acceptance of controlled behavior.

Fortunately, technology now provides us with some middle ground. Control enthusiasts can now track their checked luggage from origin to destination, thanks to a feature on most airlines’ smartphone apps. And smart doorbells allow control enthusiasts to monitor their home’s front door from hundreds of miles away.

These advancements don’t wipe away the need for trust. After all, something can easily go wrong when we’re physically separated from our homes or luggage. But they do provide control enthusiasts with peace of mind.

Thanks to these tech solutions, there are fewer unknown variables to control enthusiasts to account for. And they can easily read and react to any issues that do arise, instead of wasting effort trying to figure out what went wrong.

Hopefully, these advancements will help change the stigma around control. Hopefully they will empower others to take command of their lives, to take responsibility for the outcomes they have a hand in.

Because a society of control enthusiasts might not be a bad thing after all. It could create a culture of empathy, compassion and common purpose.

That’s a culture worth pursuing. Let’s make it happen.