How much do we take for granted?
A lot.
The way we live. Our basic comforts. Whose company we cherish.
We don’t think twice about any of this. We assume it’s all part of the baseline from which we make our mark in the world.
It’s only when these assumptions are violently shattered — when we suddenly lose a loved one, our possessions or our status — that we start to consider how good we had it. We realize what we once took for granted only after it’s too late.
Why do we act like this? What makes us so tone-deaf to the fragility of all we rely on, of all that we hold dear?
The answer tugs at the root of the human condition.
We are naturally protective beings. This is why we’ve circled our wagons around our family and our territory for years.
The unwavering protection of what’s ours make us unique. After all, animals have been known to eat their young or wander nomadically.
But these traits also leave us in a conundrum. In order to protect our turf and our loved ones we must remain vigilant in fighting off all threats against them. But fighting is exhausting and energy is a finite resource. How can we be the continual protectors without burning out?
The answer lies in mitigation, in situational thinking. We accept our situation as normal and assume its permanence. This allows us to save our energy to only fight off imminent threats.
The irony is by hard-wiring ourselves to take what we cherish most for granted, we actually open ourselves to a far more advanced form of damage. Change becomes trying; emotions like grief and fear are all the more profound because we refuse to accept our situation as transient.
And when we are hit with a sudden change or loss, the pain of regret makes coping more difficult. If only I knew what I had when I had it becomes a common refrain. The wounds of our oblivious past linger as scars on our present and future.
This is a destructive pattern, but there is a way out of the maelstrom.
We must stop taking all we cherish for granted.
We must consider that all we hold dear has an expiration date — and that we do as well. We must embrace this uncomfortable fact and show continual gratitude for all we have. We must hold each other close, knowing a day will come when we let go. We must live for today, since tomorrow is no given.
This won’t take away the pain of loss or the uncertainty of change. But it will make the moments we share richer and the lives we live more vibrant. It will free us of the burden of regret, while allowing us to discover our true potential.
With this in mind, it’s time we open our eyes.
Nothing is granted. Everything is a privilege. Act accordingly.