The loudest message often comes from the quietest origins.
This might seem surprising at first. Especially since our culture lionizes the boisterous.
But those with the loudest voices all too often fail to win our hearts and minds. The sheer force of their vocal pitch causes us to take heed of what they have to say, but only for a moment.
In the long term, the loudest among us don’t win our attention. All that bravado eventually comes off as white noise, about as memorable as our morning coffee from three weeks ago.
This is surely not what those vociferous speakers want. But all too often, they confuse commanding the room for creating influence. And when they fail to capture hearts and minds by projecting their voice, they generally overcompensate by talking even louder.
These actions send these booming orators into a dark spiral. One where they’ll get a reputation as a loudmouth with nothing of substance to say.
It’s a reputation that fully undermines any remaining chance they have of causing influence.
There are a couple reasons why this paradox occurs.
One reason is that we’re poorly equipped to handle continual shouting. Our bodies act defensively when we encounter large bursts of noise. While it might seem as if a loud talker has captivated the room, a more likely explanation is that they’ve startled others into momentary silence.
Some of us do handle noise better than others. For example, some people are comfortable hanging out at large concerts or crowded bars. And if those of us who live under an airport flightpath — as my grandparents did for six decades — gradually tune out the sound of the high-pitched jet engines overhead.
But regardless of how well we acclimate to a noisy environment, loud noise is still a shock to our system. Our bodies just don’t handle it well.
If you don’t believe me, watch the late R. Lee Ermey in Full Metal Jacket. Consider how you’d feel if you were continually getting yelled at by someone standing six inches in front of your nose.
So yes, our defensive posture to noise is a barrier that prevents the loudest speakers from meeting their objectives. But there’s another reason why more noise does not equal more results. One that can be defined in six words.
Volume is the enemy of rhythm.
Yes, the key to resonance is not only knowing how loudly to speak. It’s also knowing when to speak.
Our attention follows cyclical rhythms. We are more likely to remember a massage when it’s part of a mixed pattern of silence and noise.
This silence most frequently comes in the form of a well-timed pause. Storytellers use these pauses to build dramatic tension. Great communicators use them to underscore their point.
Why? Because pauses illicit wonder in an audience. They allow minds to wander and silently ask What if? questions. They unlock a world of possibilities.
By the time the communicator is ready to share their message, the audience is waiting for them with anticipation. The captive audience members are wondering whether the message will resolve the stream of questions running through their mind.
If it does, the audience members will feel accomplished. They’ll feel as if they unlocked the mystery that floated through the silence.
If it doesn’t, the audience members will feel awed. They’ll feel as if they learned something new and unexpected.
Either way, the message resonates. The communicator wins.
All without lifting their finger or raising their voice to a full shout.
It’s an art form, for sure. So, what’s needed to master this art?
A hefty dose of patience and observation.
It takes the ability to read the room and chime in at the appropriate time. It requires the contextual chops to understand a situation and respond in a thought-provoking way. It demands context over bluster, wit over brute force.
And it favors those with a quieter disposition.
Think about it: Those best at this art must listen before they speak. They must recognize patterns and understand how to leverage them. They must embrace the silence as an ally, not an enemy.
This is the realm of the quiet, the soft-spoken. It’s the domain of the thoughtful speaker, the empathetic communicator.
But even while this pattern skews towards those who say little, it’s not exclusive to introverts or the more reserved. We all can use the rhythm of attention to our advantage when sharing our messages.
In fact, we all should.
Adopting this practice might require a leap of faith for the most gregarious of us. But the results will benefit everyone.
White noise will fade away. And we’ll have more chances to captivate and inspire.
So, let’s leave the myth of loud voices behind. It’s time to embrace the quiet roar.