Ain’t no road too long, when you meet in the middle.
This sentiment comes from an old country song. And it’s seemed to fade with the passing of the years.
As time marches on, we find ourselves drawn to the edges ever more. We dig in our heels, fighting tooth and nail over our positions and beliefs. We take an all-or-none approach.
This has long been a hallmark of competition. But it’s become embedded in our views on work, parenting, politics, religion, and even behavioral norms.
All too often, we frame these hallmarks of life in two camps. Good and bad. Or right and wrong.
And when we do this, we claim that decisions on how to proceed should be clear and evident.
But we delude ourselves.
For the world is not just darkness and light. It’s brimming with shades of gray.
There are few more frustrating types of weather than fog.
Clouds suspended in the sky can bring us shade, rain or even snow. But when those clouds reach ground level, they bring nothing but trouble.
Fog impacts our ability to move about safely. And it fills the atmosphere with a drab grayish hue.
We loathe fog because it robs us of what we seek — vision and clarity. And yet, it encapsulates how to understand our world in its realest form.
For life is full of ambiguity. Of shifting conditions and patterns.
This constant flux can lead to differing perceptions. And those perceptions make it more difficult to find consensus.
Those clear choices we believe in are often not so straightforward. They might help us, but hurt others. They might reduce our risk, but also limit our reward.
The best way to combat this is to embrace the gray area between those choices.
The most prudent way forward is to accept compromise.
Compromise is difficult.
Many leaders have mastered this discipline. But, when left to our own devices, we fail to follow in their footsteps.
For compromise requires us to step away from our picture of how things should be. It compels us to accept a solution that might seem watered down.
Yes, we can get much accomplished by leaning in to compromise. But at what cost?
For when we give, we allow others to take. And when we relax our standards, we can slam the door on our own rationality.
If we make a concession only one time, it shatters our standard of equity. It opens the door for others to question our overall judgment.
After all, why would we budge this one time, and not another?
Questions like these are difficult to answer. They threaten our reputation. They leave us vulnerable.
And so, we’d rather leave them unasked. We’d prefer to avoid the subject of compromise altogether.
But easing our discomfort is hurting our progress. And that is only leading to more pain.
In times of normalcy, we can get away with all-or-nothing thinking.
But in a crisis, the veil is lifted on our shortsightedness. And this can cause a reckoning.
Suddenly, our ideals no longer work. In an instant, our economic and social conventions are thrown into freefall.
In the fray of such carnage, we feel we have two options. We can stick to our hardened principles, enduring the suffering that is sure to follow. Or we can jump ship to opposing principles, forcing us to revisit our core beliefs.
But a third option is available. Just as it always has been.
We can embrace the gray area.
We can compromise. We can adapt. We can do what it takes to rise to the occasion.
In the context of a pandemic, this might mean accepting a government handout — even if we are normally accustomed to earning our keep. Or it might mean assessing the risks of activities in public settings, instead of barricading ourselves at home for months on end.
Neither of these options are a slam dunk, of course. In a society so fixated on precedent and liability, these tactics can go against the grain.
But the alternatives are untenable. Sticking to our principles for self-sufficiency in such a crisis can cause us to go hungry or bankrupt. And fully abandoning our principles for safety means putting ourselves — and everyone around us— at risk for a different kind of pain.
We must be willing to make an exception. To find a compromise in the gray area between the extremes. This solution won’t be perfect, but it will be best suited for the situation at hand.
How far should we venture into the mist?
How much of the gray area can we endure before we lose our way entirely?
It’s hard to know for sure. After all, the gray is ambiguous by nature.
But there are two pinnacles that can guide us — our curiosity and the moment.
Our curiosity is the latent driver. It unleashes all the possibilities we might someday explore. Maybe these possibilities are our second best options. Or maybe they’re opportunities we’ve yet to explore. Either way, we’re not fully opposed to them.
And the moment is the impetus. It’s the spark that causes us to change things up. To break the hardened rules we’ve set for ourselves and explore the possibilities instead.
When these two forces combine, we explore the gray. We can test the waters without losing our identity. We can find the reward without enduring much of the risk.
This is evident in a crisis, when the path to our survival is paramount. But it should also be apparent in more ordinary times.
Indeed, our curiosity is constantly lingering. It’s just up to us to conjure it.
And the moment is within our grasp as well. The inspiration lies within.
We don’t have to wait for our lives to get turned upside down, just to shake things up.
After all, the world is constantly evolving. Why shouldn’t we?
So, let’s adopt a new mindset.
Let’s stop hiding behind rigid principles. Let’s drop our fear of double standards. And let’s live in a more adaptable and sustainable way.
The gray area is not no-man’s land. It’s the key to our destiny.
Let’s harness it.