He’s not a bad person. He just has a character flaw.
You might have used this line before. Or heard of someone else who did.
This line has been used for those who smoke or drink too much. For those who act out on occasion or demonstrate a bad temper. For those who lose interest or focus at times when it’s needed.
The point? That the most unsavory characteristics of our behavior can be written off, or explained away.
That the good can cancel out the bad. Or at least make us forget about it for a while.
It’s our way of lightening up. On focusing on the positives rather than dwelling on the negatives. On seeing the good in people rather than dwelling on the bad.
It’s why we have Boys Will Be Boys. Or Girls Just Want To Have Fun.
No harm, no foul.
Shame on us.
This attitude shrugs aside incidents that can ruin lives. It gives a free pass where none is warranted. It leaves us complicit in the abdication of fair treatment.
Worse still, it misinterprets what character truly means.
Character is not a flaw. It is a choice.
Think about that statement for a moment. Then think of someone you consider to have character.
What comes to mind?
The way they carry themselves, most likely. The way they act and the things they do.
But if your character role models are anything like mine, another word comes to mind as well.
Consistency.
High-character individuals don’t talk the talk. They walk the walk.
They live the values they embody. Every minute of every day.
There’s no room for flaws in judgment. Character is a choice they make, and one they commit to abide by at all times.
Showing up with the right attitude every day is not as noticeable as flying off the handle now and then. Taking the right actions is not always as noteworthy as screwing up.
Yet, over a wider time frame, it stands out.
People remember what they don’t see from high-character leaders. The lack of meltdowns, embarrassments and lapses in judgment. And that lack of red marks can garner respect and adulation.
Character is not a flaw. It is a choice.
So, how can we get there?
How can we aspire to improve our character? To live into the type of behavior we idolize?
We can start by kicking the free-pass to the curb. By no longer writing off lapses in judgment. By instead yearning for something greater.
For our legacy is measured by its entirety, not its majority.
When we reduce the threshold of acceptable behavior to that second level, we all stand to lose.
We can do better than that.
We must do better than that.
So, let’s stop compromising.
Character is not a flaw. It is a choice.
Choose wisely.