Go forth with confidence.
Some sage advice you might have heard.
It can be useful at times. But there’s a fine line.
You see, if we display too much confidence — if we act too boldly — we might come off as arrogant, egotistical or not self-aware.
We might look as if we lack humility. Or that we don’t contain empathy for others whose paths we might cross.
In any case, we’ll look like we’re out of touch.
It’s far better for us to convey self-doubt than to act as if we know it all.
Wait, what?
Yes, this advice likely flies in the face of just about anything we’ve ever heard on the subject of confidence.
In fact, we spend considerable time trying to root out self-doubt. For we view uncertainty to be the antithesis of strength.
A fundamental question lies at the heart of this prevalent viewpoint. If we don’t believe in ourselves, who will?
But using this question to remove self-doubt is a fool’s errand. It’s better suited for questions of self-worth.
And while those two phrases might sound similar, there’s actually a large chasm between them.
Self-doubt is a natural function of life. In an uncertain world where decisions don’t always pay off, it’s perfectly valid to question our own decisions.
After all, there’s likely someone out there with better qualifications, enhanced knowledge or more luck than us. And even they might not get it right all the time.
Self-doubt recognizes this gap between possibilities and reality. When used sporadically, it can serve as a powerful gut-check and a humbling reminder of our inherent imperfection.
Self-doubt keeps us honest. It keeps us grounded. It keeps us human.
Self-worth, on the other hand, takes this phenomenon a bridge too far. It questions not only our capability to perform a task, but also our viability for existing at all.
While self-doubt is akin to a spiritual awakening, self-worthlessness is a cry for help.
Unfortunately, many people can’t see the difference between self-doubt and self-worth. They can’t tell that a healthy reality check is not synonymous with a declaration of despair.
As such, our society tends to throw the baby out with the bath water. To consider any displays of humility and doubt to be signs of weakness.
Perhaps the confusion lies in the along the fine line that separates self-doubt and self-worth.
After all, self-doubt can be the first step in a downward spiral to self-worthlessness. But not always, and not often.
That’s the outlier case. A potent and devastating one, but an outlier nonetheless.
No, we far more commonly use self-doubt to define our boundaries. To see where the walls of the racetrack are. And to adjust accordingly.
Sometimes, we’ll take the effort to break through these boundaries. Other times, we’ll use them as guideposts to keep ourselves between the lines.
In either case, self-doubt can be healthy. And if it’s channeled in the right places, it can even be productive.
So, forget what you heard about fortune favoring the bold. And don’t trip over yourself to Go forth with confidence.
Our true power lies in our vulnerability.