How malleable are you?
It’s an important question.
It implies that flexibility is paramount. That shifting our perceptions can be advisable.
Depending on the context, this may indeed be true.
Surely, we’re expected to know more toward the end of our lives than we are at the start. After all, we’re not born with the capability to chew solid food or lift up our heads. We don’t start school knowing how to solve algebra problems or structure prepositional phrases.
We must be able to adapt as we grow, so that we can add these abilities to our tool chest.
Whether ingrained through nature or through such imposed structures as the school system, we’re compelled to get from Point A to Point B. To transform ourselves from drooling babies to fully-functioning adolescents.
Yet, once we turn 18, the compulsory rigor is up. We’ve long ago willed ourselves to walk, talk and get dressed. We’ve gone through the ringer of 12 years of schooling. And we’ve finally stepped out from the shadow of our parents and guardians when it comes to ownership of decisions.
We’ve come to the end of the line. Any future opportunities to expand our minds are on us.
It’s a strange time for this demarcation. Although our bodies are nearly fully developed, our minds are not.
In many ways, we are at our most vulnerable. Our brash egos hide the overwhelming fear that lies within us.
We know nothing about responsibility from an adult perspective. How could we? We’ve spent our entire lives to date with a protective blanket bolstering our evolution.
So, we overcompensate by emboldening ourselves. We drive fast, act dumb and chase lust over love. We make the mistakes befitting of our immaturity.
Then, eventually, we see the error of our ways. And step by step, we change.
We settle down. We mellow out. And we take a broader, more mature perspective.
Or, at least some us do.
Indeed, this is where the issue of malleability comes in to the picture.
Theoretically, those who are malleable will have the courage and the humility to make the changes needed to act more responsibly over time. The others will stick to their adolescent principles, remaining irresponsible and short-sighted over the long haul.
There’s a clear imperative. Embrace malleability, or else.
Yet, there is such a thing as being too malleable. Of not having any principles to stand behind.
This too can present a problem. For in the pursuit of such overwhelming change, we risk losing our identity entirely. And in doing so, we risk losing ourselves.
As such, I prefer to consider adaptability by a different name — plasticity.
Plasticity implies maintaining a solid core, yet adapting our exterior to meet our surroundings. It means expanding our capabilities without sacrificing our personality. It means staying true to our principles in a way that betters those around us.
I find this delineation critically important. For it holds true in my own experience.
Like many, I was not ready for prime-time when I turned 18. Sure I felt like I was mature enough at the time, but I was only deluding myself. I had no idea how to act properly, from a social, psychological or financial perspective.
A recent visit to my college campus made this abundantly clear. As I walked the brick paths, memories came flooding back. All followed by the refrain I was so young and stupid back then.
How did I get from that point to where I am today? Slowly and methodically.
As I trekked through early adulthood, I came across new experiences and inherited new responsibilities. I had to adapt to meet these new expectations, handling each scenario in a context-specific way.
My core essence remained the same. But my outward presentation varied depending on the situation.
Sometimes, I equipped myself properly to handle the new scenario I faced. Other times, I fell on my face.
Either way, I gained experience and perspective. And this helped me act more conscientiously and responsibly as my adulthood progressed.
There’s no doubt in my mind that plasticity is the concept that best describes my evolution over the past several years. I haven’t so much grown as diversified.
And I believe plasticity applies on a wider context as well.
It explains the theory of having one self, rather than being our best self. We can adapt our mindset to unlock achievement, happiness and fulfillment. Yet, we don’t need to sacrifice our core essence to reach these results.
It explains the theory of selfless action. We can make our principles our tools, yet let our plasticity guide our endowment of those tools to help others ahead of ourselves.
And it explains the theory of growth mindset. We can allow our minds to expand, and new perspectives to factor into our decisions. All while remaining true to our personality.
Ultimately, that’s what life’s about. Being adaptable to the rise and fall of the tides, but having the backbone to stand tall in unrelenting winds.
Plasticity makes this all possible. We’d be best served to embrace it.