Tag: nature

Nature Redefined

What is the best we can be?

The question is top of mind, following an advertisement that has stirred the pot quite a bit.

In the ad, razor company Gillette challenges its own tagline The Best A Man Can Get. The company addresses examples of bullying and sexual harassment. Then it challenges men to rise above this behavior, even launching a new tagline The Best Men Can Be.

This ad really resonated with me. After all, my mantra is Be Present. Be Informed. Be Better. And the ad spoke right to that third pillar.

Yet, the clunky delivery and heavy-handed message of the ad left many incensed. In one fell swoop, a company focused heavily on men’s products seemed to be attacking masculinity. To some, it seemed like a betrayal of the highest order.

On a basic level, I can empathize with this sentiment. As a man, it’s hard not to feel vilified these days. While the Me Too movement has held prominent men accountable for their abusive behavior, it has, at times, painted with a broad brush. And when it has, it’s lumped the entire male species in with the transgressors.

This bold typecasting is one of the most effective ways of sparking the discussion needed to  effect social change. The process of cultural transformation is inherently uncomfortable, after all. It’s hard to make a difference without pushing the boundaries of what we’re collectively accustomed to first.

Yet, there’s a fine line between uncomfortable and threatening. And the Gillette ad was a bit cavalier at times when navigating that line.

As such, I understand some of the backlash. But not all of it.

Why? Because many of the angriest voices seemed to be rallying around the term Boys Will Be Boys. And that is unacceptable.

Boys Will Be Boys is the line that comes up most often when defending reprehensible male behavior. It attributes transgressions to male nature, rather than conscious immorality. And in doing so, it lets the offender go scot-free.

Boys Will Be Boys is a line that serves as a license to condone fighting, womanizing and drunken belligerence. It’s a line that serves as a license to permit a hazing and bullying to flourish systematically. It’s a line that even serves as a license to shrug off sexual assault allegations levied against Supreme Court justices — the supposed moral compasses of the land.

It’s a line that needs to go.

The more we skirt accountability as men, the more our society suffers. It doesn’t matter whether we’re 15 or 55. We must be held accountable for our actions.

This includes reining in the more garish sides of masculinity. It means eradicating behavior that make women feel inferior or unsafe — the very disparities that have sparked the Me Too movement.

Now, men are not entirely to blame for these disparities. Women have not always unified to protect their rightful sense of status or safety. In fact, the level of deceit and betrayal some women levy on other women could make the most stone-faced men blush.

But in a world where men have for too long had a monopoly of power and influence, it is men who must lead the charge to heal these transgressions. It is men who must set a new standard to help promote a world that is fairer and safer for all. It is men who must resolve to be better.

It starts with burying Boys Will Be Boys for once and for all. With understanding that nature can be redefined. With recognizing that new cultural expectations can, and must, be set.

This, I believe, is the message Gillette was trying to promote. And it’s one worth listening to.

Let’s heed the call. Let’s be the change.

The Space We Create

All around me, things are changing.

The Dallas-Fort Worth area is expanding rapidly, and the sights and sounds a mile or so up the road from me bear witness to that transformation.

Heavy equipment is clearing the land, leveling the dirt and setting up roads and street lights. Soon, the frameworks of dozens of homes will go up. And before you know it, what was once a field where wildflowers bloomed and cattle grazed will be a shiny, new neighborhood.

I’ve become a bit immune to all of this. Four years ago, I could take a short drive up the highway and see plenty of these pastures. Now, those spaces are filled with strip malls, megastores, restaurants, entertainment venues and homes.

Heck, my supermarket was once a field covered in mesquite brush. I think about that every time I pull into the parking lot to load up on groceries.

It’s as if we flipped a switch. What was once God’s green earth has become a place essential to our lives, a place where memories are made.

Those new neighborhoods? Families will make their lives there, and children will grow up there. That area will mean everything to those who call it home.

Those new stores and strip malls? They’ll become woven into our routines, the way that supermarket has become part of mine.

Those entertainment centers and restaurants? They’re where good times will be had, romances will be grown and new chapters among friends and families will be written.

Yes, a simple construction boom can result in a multitude of stories — many happy ones, some sad ones and even a few tragic ones. All in a setting that appeared out of thin air.

This is a testament to societal growth. But though these changes serve to benefit us, it’s best that we don’t forget what came before.

For while we identify with the structures that frame our memories — our childhood home, our favorite restaurant — we must remember that all of it is an illusion.

At one point, the land we now inhabit was nothing more than that. The structures we’ve created came from the dirt — the same dirt we will return to when our time is done.

Now, it’s true that much of the space we’ve created predates our existence. But in the moments where it doesn’t, we owe it to ourselves to recognize all that is lost in the transformation between the natural order and the human order.

We must recognize our impact, both for better and for worse. And we must keep our achievements in proper context.

For the space create may help us shape our own stories. But the ground we build upon tells an eternal story all its own — one far greater than the scope of anything we’ve created.

We’d be fools not to give nature proper due. So, let’s look beyond the lens of our own ingenuity and appreciate the presence of something far greater.

The ground we live on is sacred. Respect it.

Solitude In Silence

I love to communicate.

Speaking, writing, sharing — I do it plenty. Maybe too much.

But there’s something I appreciate more than the words I share.

Silence.

You see, the loudest voice in the room garners the most buzz. But that attention is leased, not bought. It’s chewed up and spat out like a piece of gum.

On the contrary, the voice that shares the least quite often says the most.

The person who can deftly master the art of silence can wield incredible power — the power to subtly captivate with something that resonates. The absence of many words can demonstrate nearly as much as the few that are actively shared.

Still, silence naturally defies attention. We are hard-wired to ignore the silent in favor of those who contribute to our collective white noise. Silence is taboo; noise is normal.

But while it’s certainly important for some — such as abuse victims — to speak out, it shouldn’t be a blanket societal requirement. Leveraging the art of silence can bring an important measure of balance.

This is a major reason why I’m a strong advocate of selective periods of silence. I will occasionally spend an hour or two sitting on my porch or taking a long walk, without checking my phone or saying a word. I don’t crank up the tunes; it’s just me and the rhythmic sounds of birds, the wind or passing cars on the highway near my home.

These are the moments I cherish. They allow me to think, to reflect, to focus free of the white noise that otherwise dominates my life. These periods of silence provide me peace and solitude, and I emerge from them renewed and refreshed.

I don’t take this portion of my life for granted. Many are surprised to learn that I happily live alone, without pets; one of the many reasons I do is to allow myself for moments of silence and reflection. Others might not commit to taking long walks with only their thoughts as accompaniment; this is something I actually look forward to.

While I fully recognize that I have a unique disposition to appreciate silence — I’m naturally shy and actively self-reflective — I do believe it’s important for others to at least build a passing acceptance of it. We have a very real issue with overcommunication in our culture today; restraint and balance are missing attributes. Nature does not involve continual disruption; it’s important that we reconnect with its rhythm.

So, after you’re done reading this bit of white noise, consider taking some time to unplug. Remove yourself from all distractions, and find the solitude in silence. You will emerge anew.