Tag: help

The Next Mile

Go the extra mile.

It’s one of the more common phrases out there.

Its implied meaning is well known: Give extra effort. But I think there’s a story that lies within the phrase itself.

Go the extra mile demonstrates our love of measurement. Our passion for quantifying everything we do.

It’s why we don’t just track business revenue anymore. We count calories. We count steps. We count friends. And we even count intangibles.

Count Von Count would be so proud.

But while it would be easy to write off our newfound numerical obsession as the latest fad — or a cultural shift — I see it differently.

I think we measure vociferously simply so that we have something to celebrate. That we go the extra mile simply to hit a milestone.

If not for milestones, we wouldn’t have cheat day for our diets. We wouldn’t have squad goals. We wouldn’t be able to brag about just how hard we’ve worked to make it to the weekend.

If not for milestones we wouldn’t stay up late and wear silly hats on a cold night in December. We wouldn’t have cake, gifts and well-wishes one day a year. And we wouldn’t party like it’s 1999 whenever we reach a round number.

Would we really be worse off without all this? Probably not.

You see, living just to smell the roses isn’t really living at all. Life is not about the dots we mark in our planner — it’s about the lines that connect them. It’s more about the journey than the destination.

This is a prime reason why I didn’t put a special article out there when Words of the West hit triple digits. While plenty of others might make a big deal out of publishing their 100th article, I saw no point in it.

For while I am proud of what I’ve built, there’s much more to be gained by looking forward.

So, there were no top 100 lists for Article 100. No “Best Of” features. No streamers or balloons.

There were simply four words: How Can I Help?

It seemed fitting.

You see, helping was why I started this website in the first place. I wanted to provide guidance through my advice, my testimony, my words.

And I’ve shared a lot. I’ve bared my soul about how the horrors of 9/11 have shaped my life. I’ve talked about switching careers with no safety net. I’ve railed against Millennials, spoken out against selfishness and expressed my desire for a more caring and conscientious society.

I’ve done all of this with only thing in mind — my readers.

My hope is that my reflections on the experiences I’ve had, the failures I’ve endured and the lessons I’ve learned could help others live more fulfilling lives. My hope is that my perspective on the more nuanced details of our society could spur thought and productive discussion.

Most of all, my hope is that what I’ve shared has helped others out, and will continue to do so.

That task is never ending. So instead of pausing to celebrate reaching an arbitrary number of articles, I continue on my quest. There is far more work to be done.

I might stand alone in this regard. But it doesn’t need to be this way.

It’s time to shift our focus when it comes to milestones. Instead of using them to see how far we’ve come, let’s consider them a guide for where we have yet to go.

If we can do this, we will measure what truly matters and ensure we make the biggest possible impact.

Forget about the road we’ve taken here. The next mile is what’s most crucial.

How Can I Help?

These are the four most important words in our toolset.

The question “How can I help?” isn’t just meant for customer service anymore. Nor is it restricted to our corporate identity. It resonates in every aspect of our lives.

Making ourselves useful never goes out of style. There is always more that can be done to make the world a better place.

But a spirit of utility goes further than promoting productivity. It can enrich our lives through the connections it builds, the goodwill it spawns and the positive outcomes it makes possible.

You see, every opportunity we come across is a learning experience. But we learn more when we’re active than when we’re passive. In other words, when we’re taking the initiative to provide assistance, we’re putting ourselves in position to learn by doing. We’re taking ourselves out of our comfort zone in order to improve our world, and gathering a bevy of actionable takeaways at the same time.

This is far better than sitting back and waiting for learning experiences to be given to us. While both assigned tasks and sporadic bouts of adversary can provide us powerful lessons to iterate and grow from, they are explicitly out of our control. So, if we learn exclusively this way, we train ourselves to be reactive instead of proactive.

And this means we sell ourselves short.

I say this because our society is built upon utility and connection. That is, the more useful and connected we are, the better off we will be.

With these constructs in place, why would we settle for only the opportunities we’re given? There are so many more opportunities to be had, if we only have the stones to seek them out. And it starts by offering to be useful.

This is a prime reason I commit to asking how I can help as often as I can. It’s not about boosting my ego or padding my resume. It’s about being a better person.

Indeed, offering assistance has helped me gain valuable knowledge beyond the scope of my job function in two separate careers. It’s helped me meet new people and endear myself to them quickly. And it’s made me a better family member, friend and colleague.

More importantly, it’s helped me become a better citizen. Twice in the past decade, I moved to a new region where a hardly knew a soul. But both times, a spirit of utility has helped me forge a foothold in my new home — and quickly.

It’s worked both ways. I learned how to build authentic and lasting connections with my new community simply by being helpful. In turn, I earned a reputation of being empathetic to the everyday trials and tribulations my new neighbors faced.

In fact, I believe the life I’ve built for myself is a direct result of my willingness to put myself out there and lend a hand.

But this principle doesn’t apply to just me. It can work for all of us.

Offering assistance at every turn can make us better employees. It can make us better spouses and parents. And it can make us better friends and neighbors.

Plus, when we all commit to this together, it can make our society more connected and conscientious. When we’ve all got each other’s backs, there’s no limit to what we can do.

It all starts with us. So, let’s use those four powerful words whenever we can.

How can I help?