What’s your excuse?
It’s surely out there, waiting on you to call it out.
There’s always something else we can blame when we don’t meet the expectations others have of us, or that we have of ourselves. There’s always a scapegoat — whether it be a person, an object or a set of circumstances — that we can point the finger at. There’s always something we can explain away as being beyond our control.
For our existence appears to us as a story. And when things don’t always go to plan, we can just shift the way that story is told.
That way, we’re the hero. That way, the odds are back in our favor. That way, we can do no wrong.
How do you paint your narrative?
What’s your excuse?
My friend Johnnie is a Veteran. He served as a combat controller in the United States Air Force.
On his second deployment to Afghanistan, Johnnie’s convoy hit an IED. Critically injured in the explosion, Johnnie’s life changed forever. He had 31 surgeries to save his legs, and he had to learn how to walk again. His active duty career in the military was over.
Johnnie was awarded a Purple Heart. George W. Bush painted Johnnie’s likeness as part of the Portraits of Courage series, and invited him to participate in his Warrior Open golf tournament for wounded veterans.
But along with all the accolades, Johnnie found himself on strange footing in civilian life. Surrounded by people who couldn’t possibly understand what he’d been through — people who’d never been through the trauma of armed combat, the grueling ordeal of multiple surgeries, the hours and hours of Physical Therapy — it would have been easy for Johnnie to be bitter, to blame the world for what befell him.
But he didn’t.
Johnnie is one of the most positive people I’ve ever met. He makes a point to thank everyone who helped him get back on his feet, and he tries to pay it forward by helping others in need whenever he can. In our second week of business school together, Hurricane Harvey ravaged Southeast Texas. Johnnie gathered what supplies he could from our class, and headed down to Houston to help with the rescue effort. There was no hesitation, only determination.
That’s who Johnnie is, even in the wake of an injury that turned his life upside down. There’s no wallowing in self-pity. Only a determined quest to spread positivity and help others in need.
What’s your excuse?
My next-door neighbor in my college dorm was a young man named Scottie. Living in close quarters, we became fast friends.
Scottie started college a semester after I did. Still, it was miraculous that he even was able to attend college at all.
As it turns out, Scottie had been battling brain tumors of most of his life. The first one appeared when he was only 8 years old. As a child and a teenager, he went through round after round of cancer treatment. Tumors would go away, only to come back months later.
It took a while for me to learn about Scottie’s plight. That was by design.
For Scottie didn’t want people to pity him. Not once did I hear him ask Why me?
His plight was just an obstacle to get past. It was not going to define the way he lived his life.
So, Scottie pursued a college degree, even as his treatments interfered with the process. He continued to cheer on his beloved Florida Panthers. He remained devoted to family and friends.
And he did all of this with a smile on his face and joy in his heart, even in the face of an unthinkable struggle.
Scottie lost his battle in 2014, months after marrying the love of his life. Before his tragic passing, Scottie published an autobiography, which I have yet to finish reading. (What’s my excuse?)
As heartbroken as all who knew him still are today, we can take some measure of solace in learning from the way Scottie lived his life. We can remind ourselves that the plights we face in our lives don’t have to define them. That we can choose the way we live, even in the midst of the gravest battles of our lives.
We can heed these lessons, because Scottie showed us the path.
That’s who Scottie was. And still is.
What’s your excuse?
If you’ve watched prime-time television in recent years, you’re probably familiar with Amy.
I’m talking about Amy Purdy. Snowboarder. Dancing With The Stars contestant. Model. Actress. Motivational speaker. Amy has many different roles.
I’ve never met her. But in a way, I have.
In a TEDx talk, Amy recounts her life. Outfitted in stylish jeans and boots, she confidently walks back and forth on stage as she describes her upbringing, hopes and aspirations.
Then, the moment of conflict.
At age 19, she gets what she thinks is the flu. It turns out to be bacterial meningitis, and lands her in the hospital. She goes into a coma, and wakes up to find her legs amputated below the knee.
Tears are rolling down Amy’s face as she harkens back to those first days after losing her legs. She recalls the despair in knowing that life as she knew it would never again exist.
Amy speaks of spending days on end sleeping with her prosthetic legs by her bedside. Of being too depressed to face her reality.
The raw emotion is palpable and resonant.
But then, something changes. Amy realizes that her condition doesn’t have to hold her back. That with a lot of drive and a little ingenuity, she can accomplish great things.
She starts snowboarding again, and ultimately finds herself in the Paralympics. Her career soars, and she ends up in the limelight.
As her star ascends, Amy looks to help others. She co-founds a non-profit to help individuals with physical disabilities get involved with action sports, art or music.
Amy could have given up when she lost her legs. But she didn’t.
Instead, she set out to achieve great things. And to help others do the same.
That’s who Amy is.
What’s your excuse?
What’s your excuse?
It’s worth asking again.
What’s the insurmountable obstacle that’s preventing you from achieving your potential? What’s the circumstance standing in your way? What’s the scapegoat, the villain, the convenient alibi?
It’s not as real as you wish it was.
Johnnie, Scottie and Amy didn’t let excuses stop them, even in the wake of unthinkable challenges. So, why are you letting it stop you?
It’s time to get real. To take ownership. To recognize that regardless of the circumstance, you can define your own destiny.
This is your right. And your obligation.
It’s up to you to seize it.
If you feel you can’t, like it’s too much, think of the example Johnnie, Scottie or Amy set. And remember these three words.
What’s your excuse?
