Tag: challenge

Gratitude Through Adversity

Counting our blessings.

It’s something we’re quite good at.

Perhaps it’s because we’re naturally introspective. Or perhaps it’s because we’re obsessed with keeping score.

Either way, we don’t pass up an opportunity to enumerate all that we’ve been given. Instead, we stockpile our gratitude, as if it’s a pile of gold coins in our dragon lair.

This pattern gains gravitas as the leaves fall from the trees and the winter chill sets in. It becomes unavoidable as a holiday designated for this purpose beckons.

So, we dive deep into gratefulness. We obsess over what we’ve been blessed with over the past year. And we go into overdrive to show our appreciation.

In most times, this is a harmless exercise. A healthy one, even.

But in extraordinary times, that foundation can shift.

It’s OK to not be OK.

This refrain has gained popularity in recent years, as our society has taken a fresh look at mental health.

Generally, this message is intended for those who’ve suffered psychological trauma. It’s for anyone who might be reckoning with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder — or PTSD.

Perhaps these PTSD victims witnessed a horrifying event, such as a car crash or the 9/11 attacks. Or perhaps they had been deployed to a combat zone and ended up bringing those horrors home. Either way, their realities were likely filled with dark thoughts.

The idea behind It’s OK to not be OK is that fitting in needn’t be a primary objective. Mainstream society might have its norms and expectations. But most people who make up that society don’t have the harrowing perspective that PTSD victims do. By forcing those victims to bury their emotions and conform with society, we are placing an undue burden upon them.

I’ve long recognized the importance of this idea. And yet, I can’t fully square with it.

For I haven’t experienced enough trauma firsthand for it to apply to me. And while I’ve faced many challenges throughout my life, I’ve been reluctant to apply such a mantra to them.

These bumps in the road have been setbacks, not traumas. And I’ve long maintained that the best way to respond to a setback is to plow ahead with conviction.

So, I’ve buried my discontent at the challenges I’ve faced. I’ve shaken off my disappointments. I’ve moved on.

Many others in this position have done the same. After all, America is the land of hard knocks. It is the heartland of perseverance through challenges.

This spirit goes back to the nation’s earliest years — when settlers faced lethal dangers on their journey west. It gained steam as immigrants flowed into Ellis Island, arriving destitute and devoid of protection. And it continues today, as the entrepreneurial movement reaches a fever pitch.

Picking ourselves up and dusting ourselves off has been the American way for eons.

And yet, it might be time to rethink all of that.

As I write these words, America is enduring a moment without comparison.

In less than 10 months, the nation has confronted a pandemic, a recession, a racial justice reckoning, a contentious Presidential election, and a swath of natural disasters. All of these events have hit this nation in years past. But they’ve never struck simultaneously.

In the wake of all this turmoil, a new narrative has taken hold. One that splits our society between the fortunate and the snakebit.

The idea comes from the fact that many have lost something in all of this. Loved ones, jobs, homes, dignity, sense of identity — all of these have been ripped away in an instant.

And yet, these horrors haven’t been evenly distributed. For some, the biggest departure from “normal life” has been the requirement that they wear face masks when outside their homes.

This group has kept their incomes, their health, and their joie de vivre. If not for a few visuals — such as those masks — it might seem as if nothing had changed from the days before the virus reached our shores.

Under normal Rules of Engagement for Americana, the next steps should be clear. Those ravaged by the moment should dust themselves off and get back on the horse. Those unaffected by it should proceed with business as usual.

But these are not normal times. The prospect of a socially distanced holiday season should make that painfully clear.

It’s time we recognize the cloud hanging over us all. And it’s time we throw out the old playbook.

In the eye of the storm, gratitude can seem irrelevant.

As we batten down the hatches, we’ve got little time to savor the ride. Survival is paramount.

But we’ve been riding the storm for months now. And as the season of reflection and renewal fast approaches, it’s time to face the truths we’ve long been avoiding.

First, this ordeal is affecting all of us, whether we want to admit it or not. Yes, the harm is not evenly distributed — and for some, the shadow of this moment will linger eternally. But no one is free and clear from the blast. We all have the right to remove the cloak of invincibility and be human.

Second, we have much to appreciate. The world might look drastically different, but the hallmarks of community and grace remain. Even in the darkest and most uncertain of times, we find the strength and ingenuity to pull each other through. That should not be taken for granted.

And third, gratefulness is not a competitive sport. We shouldn’t feel pressure to wear on our sleeves the blessings we feel in our hearts. Life is messy and emotions are complicated. It’s best if we leave some runway for each of us to deal with such complexity in the manner that best suits us. Judgment gets us nowhere.

If we can come to terms with these truths, we might encounter some levity. We might rekindle the spirit that generally dominates the tail-end of the calendar. We just might find ourselves again.

Times may be tough, and joy might be in short supply. But all is not lost.

Let us never forget that.

Challenge Or Opportunity?

My life mantra has long been: Accept the Challenge. Embrace the Process.

It’s something I live and breathe every day. It’s exemplified the winding, often difficult path I’ve taken to get here; just as importantly, it keeps me focused and driven as I turn my sights toward the road ahead.

I don’t keep the word challenge in the forefront my mind because I’m a grinder, because I like to do things the hard way. If that were the case, I’d ride bulls around the southwestern circuit for a living, or do something similarly gritty.

No, challenge is rooted in my everyday consciousness because I’m a thinker. Adversity is never comfortable, but it can be beneficial. The key is to view the situation in the right frame of mind, and build off it.

Ultimately, it comes down to this:

Where some see a challenge, I see an opportunity.

A challenge is an opportunity to learn and to grow. But it’s also an opportunity to improvise and adapt — which can help us evolve into more well-rounded, resourceful people.

This distinction is important, because challenges are all around us. The major roadblocks in the course of our lives are, of course, well documented. But those less apparent situations that force us to innovate can often be just as significant.

For example, I’ve explained at length how I love to cook. Cooking is a challenge in itself — I’m sure even world-class chefs might agree with that statement — but cooking in an apartment provides an extra degree of difficulty. Add in my health issues regarding dairy, and suddenly an ocean of culinary possibilities is whittled down to a Bayou stream.

Do I run from this adverse situation — all the way to the nearest McDonalds? Not a chance. Instead, I accept the challenge. I improvise to make up for the lack of counter space and gourmet gadgets — making do with the rudimentary range and oven I’ve been provided. I find alternative methods of cooking burgers and hot dogs in the kitchen to compensate for my lack of patio space for grilling. I even have with my own recipe for making barbeque brisket indoors without a smoker.

Where some might have seen a significant challenge in my culinary arrangement, I saw an opportunity. And through this process of situational innovation, a funny thing has happened — I’ve become a better, more well-rounded cook.

This is why it’s important to look at adverse situations not as a fight-or-flight ultimatum, but instead as an innovate and evolve moment. There’s so much to gain from this perspective, and so little to risk.

So accept the challenge. It just might be your next great opportunity.

Cooking Is Life

Those who know me best know that I love cooking. I cook multiple times a week for several reasons — including the financial benefits, the sense of control and the ability to avoid using dairy as an ingredient (as my body simply can’t handle it). But the main reason I cook is because I love it.

In fact, I remain mystified by cooking, even after all these years — although it hasn’t always been this way. In fact, the idea of preparing a meal initially terrified me. Cooking is equal parts art and science — and I’m equally bad at both. Add in a childhood fear of fire, and I kept my distance from the kitchen as much as I could.

However, once I started cooking, I discovered that it was much less complicated than I’d imagined it to be. Ultimately, you’ll find that cooking is dominated by three factors:

  • Seasoning
  • Heat
  • Time

Mastering the intersections of those three elements is the key to successful cooking. If you mess up one of these elements, your dish will pay the price. Then again, if you take the time and attention to ensure they’re all properly accounted for, you’ll likely be happy with the results.

Of course, the right ingredients, cookware and appliances are also crucial — but those who don’t farm, hunt or fish for the food they eat (or forge their own cast-iron skillets) don’t have full control over this part of the process. It’s up to us to make sure we get fresh chicken breasts or an adequate fry pan, but it’s also up to the supermarket or home goods store to ensure the right items are in stock. And raw ingredients don’t become a delicious meal until we evoke the magic of cooking, which comes back to seasoning, heat and time.

Still, there’s more to cooking than just the main elements involved.

  • Cooking is expression. Whether it’s a dish from a five-star restaurant or mama’s cookin’, you can bet that whoever prepared the meal put his or her own touches on it. This is where the art of cooking takes over. A cook can play around with the elements of seasoning, heat and time — while tinkering with the ingredients they use — to make a dish unique and memorable. Expression in cooking provides variety, making a meal both palatable and exciting.
  • Cooking is adversity. You can’t be afraid to try new things in the kitchen, and you can’t be afraid to fail. Recently, I spent two hours trying a new recipe for the first time — and I failed miserably. My reward was an hour spent cleaning up the mess I caused in my kitchen, and then two days of eating the edible remnants of my culinary disaster for dinner. It sucks, but you own it, and you learn from it.
  • Cooking is commitment. It doesn’t matter if you’re preparing a Thanksgiving feast or warming up a can of beans — cooking takes some degree of effort. Taking ownership of that responsibility meal after meal shows devotion and can help define character.
  • Cooking is love. When you prepare a dish, you care about how it comes out. On some level, there’s empathy at play each time you turn the dial on the stove or preheat the oven. Whether you’re making dinner for others or simply preparing a meal to the standards of your taste buds, you’re passionately devoted to making your culinary creation worthwhile.

Success. Failure. Art. Science. Expression. Uniqueness. Excitement. Adversity. Responsibility. Character. Commitment. Devotion. Empathy. Love. Empathy. Passion. These are all concepts that are key in cooking, but they transcend our daily lives as well. With that in mind, one thing is clear.

Cooking is life. Go on and get the most out of it.