Tag: blessings

What’s Granted

How much do we take for granted?

A lot.

The way we live. Our basic comforts. Whose company we cherish.

We don’t think twice about any of this. We assume it’s all part of the baseline from which we make our mark in the world.

It’s only when these assumptions are violently shattered — when we suddenly lose a loved one, our possessions or our status — that we start to consider how good we had it. We realize what we once took for granted only after it’s too late.

Why do we act like this? What makes us so tone-deaf to the fragility of all we rely on, of all that we hold dear?

The answer tugs at the root of the human condition.

We are naturally protective beings. This is why we’ve circled our wagons around our family and our territory for years.

The unwavering protection of what’s ours make us unique. After all, animals have been known to eat their young or wander nomadically.

But these traits also leave us in a conundrum. In order to protect our turf and our loved ones we must remain vigilant in fighting off all threats against them. But fighting is exhausting and energy is a finite resource. How can we be the continual protectors without burning out?

The answer lies in mitigation, in situational thinking. We accept our situation as normal and assume its permanence. This allows us to save our energy to only fight off imminent threats.

The irony is by hard-wiring ourselves to take what we cherish most for granted, we actually open ourselves to a far more advanced form of damage. Change becomes trying; emotions like grief and fear are all the more profound because we refuse to accept our situation as transient.

And when we are hit with a sudden change or loss, the pain of regret makes coping more difficult. If only I knew what I had when I had it becomes a common refrain. The wounds of our oblivious past linger as scars on our present and future.

This is a destructive pattern, but there is a way out of the maelstrom.

We must stop taking all we cherish for granted.

We must consider that all we hold dear has an expiration date — and that we do as well. We must embrace this uncomfortable fact and show continual gratitude for all we have. We must hold each other close, knowing a day will come when we let go. We must live for today, since tomorrow is no given.

This won’t take away the pain of loss or the uncertainty of change. But it will make the moments we share richer and the lives we live more vibrant. It will free us of the burden of regret, while allowing us to discover our true potential.

With this in mind, it’s time we open our eyes.

Nothing is granted. Everything is a privilege. Act accordingly.

Gratitude Through Turmoil

The holidays are here once again. As we prepare to feast on copious amounts of food, reconnect with loved ones and stress about shopping, a sense of finality is starting to set in.

Yes, although the calendar makers might not have gotten everything right — 30 days have September, April, June and November? Are you kidding me?! —they at least had the common decency to ensure the holiday season puts a tidy bow on the year.

As holidays ramp up, it’s natural to count our blessings. That’s what Thanksgiving was originally about, and it remains a central theme throughout the entire holiday season (along with lights, Santa hats and caroling).

However, I sense something different this time around. In the wake of a particularly trying year — one that has culminated in the most contentious election of our lifetime — a sense of angst has seemingly replaced that of gratitude.

This is far from unexpected. Division and mistrust have been central themes from coast to coast this year, often resulting in anger and violence. We’ve seemingly spent more time pointing the finger at others than we’ve spent trying to heal our fractured society. And we’ve given no indications that we plan on finding collective solutions to these problems anytime soon.

All of this is discouraging. But what upsets me the most is seeing people I look up to sitting in the corner with their head in their hands.

Too many of us are giving up. And that’s unacceptable.

I’ve put myself through the fire multiple times throughout my life, and I know that the moments that test our mettle are the ones that define us. It’s not about being backed into a corner; it’s about how we respond.

Those of us who believe in morality, acceptance and empathy have had a rough go of it recently. This is clear. And the principles of collectivism and inclusiveness have never seemed more like a pipe dream fantasy.

However, we should stop looking at the glass as half-empty. Even in times of turmoil, there is much that’s worthy of our gratitude.

We should be thankful that we hold the principle of decency dear in our hearts. That we pass them along to our children. That we live what we preach.

And we should appreciate that our collective predicament presents a giant opportunity. An opportunity to live our lives righteously, as we have always done. An opportunity to lead by example. And an opportunity to slowly get our society back to one that espouses values that connect and strengthen, rather than divide and weaken.

There is much work to be done. But we have the power to do it.

For that, we should be eternally grateful.