Several years ago, my grandparents were stopped at a red light, not far from my childhood home. Two cars in front of them also waited for their moment to advance.
The light turned green. My grandfather waited patiently for the cars ahead to clear when…BOOM!
His car was rear-ended.
The impact of the collision was intense. My grandparents’ car was damaged, but fortunately, they were alright.
When my grandfather approached the driver that hit his car, that driver had a simple explanation for the carnage.
The light was green.
Forget that there were three cars between that driver and the intersection. Forget that my grandparents could have gotten seriously injured.
Green meant go. Simple as that.
The offense this driver committed was egregious. No one would deny that.
But the philosophy he tapped into, it’s one we’re all familiar with.
You see, we’re groomed to act like a bull in a China shop when it comes to the obstacles we face. We’re taught that the only path forward is through.
Now, there are certainly times when such an approach is warranted. We face plenty of barriers that are meant to be knocked down like bowling pins.
But there are countless other times when we’re far from the bowling alley. Where the obstacle ahead of us is in place for a good reason. And where we should adjust accordingly.
Much like that driver, we don’t have a playbook for such a scenario. And we all suffer for it.
There’s a new sheriff in town.
We’ve probably heard that phrase before.
This phrase signifies more than a changing of the guard. It signals that we all have but two options — get in line or get out of the way.
Such an approach was worth its weight in gold on the rugged Western frontier of yesteryear. But it’s poorly equipped for the modern era.
These days, respect isn’t meted out at the heel of a boot or the end of a gun. It’s earned by threading the needle between competition and collaboration.
Yes, sometimes it’s prudent to work with others to bypass the barriers in our midst, rather than taking dead aim at them. Sometimes it’s better to play the long game, to see the forest for the trees.
Thanks to this alternate philosophy, we see universities joining together for research efforts. Thanks to this philosophy, we see Microsoft Office software on Apple computers. Thanks to this philosophy, we have the phrase frenemy.
Yes, the past has proven that win at all costs carries a crippling toll. History has shown us that joining forces can truly yield benefits.
And yet, we fail to pay attention to the evidence. We fail to heed this guidance.
I stood behind a tall table in the middle of an expo hall floor. In front of me were assorted giveaways. Behind me was a banner featuring my employer’s logo. And off to the side were a couple of colleagues.
My job was simple — talk to whoever came by the booth and scan their conference badge.
Many times, these visitors were our potential customers. But sometimes they were representatives from businesses like ours. Not direct competitors, but service providers whose solutions complemented ours.
After these representatives listened to my sales pitch and grabbed a few branded items, they walked away. And as they did, my colleagues would utter the same phrase.
Maybe we’ll acquire their company someday.
I knew where my colleagues were coming from. Our company had been aggressive in the Mergers & Acquisitions space. Many of us in the booth had joined from an acquired company.
But after hearing it over and over, I’d had enough.
Y’all, I exclaimed. We’re not acquiring every other company out there. We can partner with some of them.
Now, partnership is not exactly a novel concept. But in this case, it seemed as if I was speaking a foreign language.
For business is Darwinism at its finest. It is dog eat dog competition.
With revenue, profit margins, and valuations ruling the roost, companies seemingly have no choice but to try and rule the jungle. In the words of Ricky Bobby, If you ain’t first, you’re last.
This ruthless competition has certainly propelled industry forward over the years. It’s sparked innovation and driven gains in efficiency.
But there is a downside to this single-minded pursuit. And that downside can best be described in two words: Customer relations.
You see, business doesn’t exist in a vacuum. To survive, companies need customers. And to succeed, companies need to retain those customers.
This process of earning and maintaining customers — it demands emotional intelligence. It requires empathy. It depends upon understanding.
And it’s simply not possible to meet those needs while acting like everything a business encounters is nothing more than an obstacle to be cleared.
This is why partnerships are important. This is why collaboration matters.
But only if we commit to it.
My grandparents were involved in that car wreck years ago.
They’ve since passed on. And so, I fear, has the era of partnership.
These days, I fear that more of us are like that offending driver. More of us are plowing through the cars ahead of us, simply because the light is green.
Partisanship is as bad as it’s ever been. Competition is everywhere and compromise is sorely lacking.
It’s all so tragically ironic.
For the more we treat each other as obstacles to clear, the less we accomplish. Our pursuit of winning at all costs ends up costing us everything.
It’s far better for us to be selectively competitive. For us to discern who is really in the way, and who isn’t. And to act accordingly.
Such an approach is not risk-free. Erstwhile partners might turn into rivals, leaving us vulnerable to serious harm.
But the risks of staying the current course are even more significant. What lies ahead for us all is even more treacherous.
So, let’s take the more sustainable path. Let’s act with thoughtful discretion, rather than reckless abandon.
We will all be better for it.