The light turned green, and the SUV in front of me inched into the intersection.
I followed, driving at a reasonable pace but an unreasonably close distance.
What else could I do? Keeping space going to be tricky with this vehicle moving at 2 miles an hour ahead of me. Both my view and my way through were obstructed.
I knew I needed to reach the other side of the intersection before the light turned red. Or else, I’d get t-boned by an oncoming vehicle.
So, once I had an ounce of daylight, I pounced. I cut the wheel and accelerated, heading for a lane to the inside of the SUV. As I did, I craned my neck to stare at the driver of then9tyer vehicle.
A young Asian woman was behind the wheel. She was holding a printed-out pamphlet. And she seemed to be reading intently from it rather than looking at the road.
Reading. A document. While driving!
As I sped away from this unconscionable sight, I had but one thought.
Lord have mercy.
About 200 miles away from this ill-fated intersection, there’s a restaurant with a letterboard sign.
El Arroyo is a known entity in Austin, Texas. A restaurant so famous for its Tex-Mex cuisine that it once was mentioned in a Pat Green song. But that letterboard – and the witty sayings displayed on it – has gained even greater renown.
I’ve shared plenty of those letterboard wisecracks with my friends over the years. But only one has made my simultaneously laugh and wince.
It reads: I’m going to need you to drive with the same energy you pulled in front of me with.
I laugh because of the tone this line implies. I wince because of the experience it illustrates.
You see, Miss Pamplet Reader is far from the only clueless driver I’ve needed to steer around over the years. It seems that a great many people have forgotten their Driver’s Education lessons. Or any kernels of common sense, for that matter.
There are the slow drivers who clog up the passing lane. There are the lost drivers who come to a dead stop in the middle of the road, rather than pulling over. And there are the inconsiderate drivers who turn without signaling or merge without looking.
It’s enough to drive an upstanding citizen to road rage.
Of course, I know better than to go nuclear. So, to spare my sanity, I recite a couple lines from the safety of my vehicle when I encounter these troublemakers.
I drive like I have somewhere to be. You drive like you’re just messing around.
It’s neat and tidy. And it draws a clear lane line between me and the imbeciles I encounter on the road.
If only they stayed out of my lane.
These days, there’s a lot of talk about the dangers of divisiveness.
Perhaps this is a function of modern times.
Misogyny is no longer ignored. Racism is no longer broadly accepted. It seems to be a peaceful, enlightened era.
And yet, polarization is everywhere we turn.
It’s a whirlwind.
The knee jerk responses to our puzzling present are pulls to the extremes. Attempts to stamp out any semblance of dividing lines, or to draw them ever thicker.
Neither option is correct.
You see, differences can be useful in certain circumstances. They can provide needed context and help define model behaviors.
Driver classification is one of those circumstances. If we normalized the foibles of bad drivers, our roadways would become an even bigger mess than they currently are. Calling out poor behaviors is necessary to keep things moving properly.
But differences can be a poison pill in other situations. Dividing on the basis of gender, religion, or ethnicity has never been an optimal decision. Nor has doing so led to equitably productive outcomes.
So yes, nuance is everything when it comes to differences. And when matters more than what.
But how do we know the right moments to lean in – and which moments to pull back?
The answer’s not as hard to find as we might think.
In the early 1960s, the United States Supreme Court faced a difficult case.
The nine justices were asked to determine if obscenity was protected by the First Amendment of the U.S. Constitution. But the answer hinged on an even tougher question: What exactly was obscenity?
For all the uproar the term brought, no one could quite define it succinctly.
So, in an opinion for Jacobellis v. Ohio, Justice Potter Stewart introduced a threshold test for obscenity. That test was punctuated by seven words: I know it when I see it.
More than a half century later, few people can recall the details of that case. But they can quote that line ad nauseum.
You see, Stewart’s words were both memorable and resonant. And his phrasing would set a template for other tricky definitions.
Culture is one of them.
It’s easy to identify strong cultural tenets. But have you tried explaining what culture actually is, clearly and succinctly?
If so, I doubt you’ve gotten far.
Fortunately, Seth Godin is up to the task. The marketing guru has defined culture with his own seven-word phrase – one that would make Justice Stewart proud.
People like us do things like this.
Godin and Stewart’s phrases should serve as guideposts for highlighting differences. They can help determine when doing so is healthy and when it’s toxic.
For one phase leans into description, while the other tilts toward action.
I know it when I see it relies solely on our snap judgments. It appeases our own sensibilities but hardly goes deeper.
Such a self-serving approach can lead us to divide based on skin tone, faith, or class – all of which can easily turn toxic.
But People like us do things like this answers a higher calling. It commands us to consider collective values and behaviors. And it inspires us to influence others toward them – generally in mutually beneficial ways.
There are exceptions to this principle of course. History is littered with examples of societies that have exploited groupthink to cause great harm. And plenty of cults are built on the premise of People like us do things like this.
Still, on the balance, action-based differentiation is a signal of a benevolent culture. It helps us to strive for better. To lift each other up, rather than put each other down.
That’s a calling that speaks to me.
So, I will continue to keep my eye on the dividing lines when I’m driving, exercising, working, or otherwise engaged in an activity. I will embrace the variety with a full heart and an open mind.
Spotting differences can be healthy. And I’m here for it.
Are you?