As we seek to improve our standing in life, we essentially have two options.
We can wait for things to be handed to us, or we can work at getting them ourselves.
Both methods can get results, at least in theory. But one rings true, and the other rings hollow.
It makes more sense to go after the life we want than it does to wait for it to be handed to us.
There’s some sweat equity in going for our goals, to be sure. But this method provides more control over our destiny.
Many people do follow this path, and see great results from it. But plenty of others shun it, for a couple reasons.
First off, the idea of getting what we want is all too often interpreted as denying someone else what’s theirs. This has led to a culture of abuse and male dominance. An ugly culture that has come into the limelight due to sexual assault and harassment scandals in the sports and entertainment world.
Getting what we want for ourselves should never be a zero-sum game. It should instead be an intensely personal process. A process that empowers us to take control of our own lives to improve our situation. A process that implores us to up our effort, knowledge and skill set in order to attain the goal we set for ourselves.
It’s about stoking the fire within. It’s about finding self-power, not exerting power over others to improve one’s standing.
Those who find success by scrapping for it generally recognize this key differentiation, and stay on the clean side of it. But many people see the entire process as dirty, and steer clear of it.
This leads to the second objection. Going after what we want is often viewed as a needless exercise. Why get down in the dirt for something, when you can just wait to be handed it instead?
This approach is far from delusional. After all, we see it in action each time we get a paycheck. We fulfill our work obligations with the expectation that the money we earned will be headed our way on payday.
The problem arises when we try and expand this thinking to other aspects of our lives. It makes us look like we lack inspiration. And it places control of our hopes and dreams in another’s hands.
Why on earth do we think this is a good idea?
It’s time we get real. It’s time we stop hitching our future successes to the benevolence of others. It’s time we recognize that while Santa Claus might give kids the gifts they want, he doesn’t go around handing adults the life they dream of.
It’s time we get gritty. It’s time we focus in on what we want and then roll up our sleeves and get after it. It’s time that we get comfortable with making short-term sacrifices to serve long-term benefits.
It’s time we get smart. It’s time we devote ourselves to learning new skills and honing existing ones. It’s time we recognize he dual power of patience and persistence, and swing that balance in our favor.
Most of all, it’s time we take control. It’s our life and our future. We must be in the driver’s seat for this journey.
For the best things in life are not given. They’re gotten.