Shoot for the stars.
Go for gold.
Dream it. Do it.
We’ve probably heard some advice like this over the years.
We are hard-wired to be relentless. To go full-throttle after that which we seek in order to achieve it.
It’s a cultural legacy.
From our earliest days, we’re being conditioned to chart our own destiny.
Parents, teachers and mentors tell us to dream big. To try hard. To ignore doubts and fears.
This is the same advice their parents, teachers and mentors once told them. And it’s the same advice we’ll likely tell our own kids.
The idea behind this advice is harmless enough. If we set a goal and work towards it, we can sustain success.
Yet, even the noblest of causes can lead to complications. And this advice is not immune to such problems.
Chief among them is the issue of chasing vs. accepting.
Dreaming big is a noble cause. But it’s also decidedly one-sided cause.
If we truly lean in to this advice, we become chasers. We find ourselves chasing after our dreams and desires, which always seem to lie a few steps ahead of us.
We might end up realizing some of these dreams. But likely not all.
For example, many boys in America dream of playing Major League Baseball. I was once one of them.
I set my goal and worked toward it. But I wasn’t talented enough to make it.
I know that now, of course. Truth be told, I knew that then. But I was so focused on the dream it, do it doctrine that I kept chasing my objective until the trail went cold.
Around the time all of this was going on, Michael Lewis released a book called Moneyball: The Art of Winning an Unfair Game. The book chronicled the 2002 Oakland Athletics, who claimed a division title without a lineup of high-priced star players.
It was an underdog story with a twist.
In near desperation, the Athletics turned to advanced analytical models to assemble their roster. This practice bucked 100 years of tradition in terms of scouting and evaluating talent. It also allowed the A’s to field a winning team on a shoestring budget.
In the years since Moneyball, many other teams have adopted these principles. Teams now have advanced analytics departments, often staffed with twentysomethings who probably would have ridden the bench in Little League.
These employees might have had the same dreams I did as a kid. Given the fact that they work for professional baseball teams, I would imagine that many did.
But, unlike me, they accepted their shortcomings. They recognized where their skills truly lay, and managed to parlay them into a new version of success.
Many of us would do well to follow their lead.
One of my favorite pieces of literature is the Serenity Prayer.
God, give me grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, Courage to change the things that should be changed and the Wisdom to distinguish one from another.
Here, in 31 words, is a roadmap for bringing dreams into reality.
The Serenity Prayer hits us with the hard truth. There are some things we have control over, and others that will forever remain beyond our grasp. It’s up to us to recognize where that dividing line lies, and not to cross it.
Yet, I fear that we are all too often deluded into believing that there is no divide. There is nothing that we should accept. There is still more that we do to be the change we seek.
This is foolish.
For, if one person out there achieves their dreams under this doctrine, there are likely four others who will waste years of effort on what can ultimately be classified as a delusion.
Their talents are better exercised elsewhere.
This doesn’t have to be a nail in the coffin of their hopes. Much like the baseball analytics employees, they might even be able to parlay their latent talents into a role that achives their goals in a new way.
But it starts with accepting that which cannot be changed, as early as possible. And then pivoting accordingly.
How have I followed the advice of the Serenity Prayer in my own life?
Not well at all.
Well, at least not until recently.
I have always had a knack for writing. While I didn’t grow up a bookworm, writing has always come easy to me, and I’ve enjoyed putting thoughts to paper.
Even so, my dreams generally lay elsewhere.
First, I wanted to be a baseball player. Then, I wanted to be a movie director.
I saw both roles as a path to notoriety, and shock therapy for my introverted nature. I could be the person I believed society expected me to be, all while producing work that people could refer to.
It was only in college when I recognized my delusions and shifted course accordingly.
I ended up getting my degree in broadcast journalism. Then I spent three years as an executive news producer at the ABC affiliate in Midland, Texas.
By finally accepting that which I could not change and chasing that which I could, I realized the dreams I hadn’t realized I had.
Yet, I quickly found that dreams are not all they’re cracked up to be.
For while I was passionate about assisting my community through the newscasts I put together, I was crumbling under the stress, odd hours and low pay. And the tragic nature of the news stories I covered ultimately gutted me.
I got out of the industry and started over. In doing so, I went right back to chasing dreams.
But what dreams? Aside from a stable lifestyle, I had no idea what to pursue.
My winding journey led me to the world of digital marketing, where I am now a seasoned veteran. It also eventually led me to pursue an MBA while working full-time — something I would have considered preposterous just years earlier.
But in the midst of all this chasing, I found room for acceptance as well.
I realized I missed writing. I missed sharing my words with the world.
I accepted that. But I also acted on it.
I launched Words of the West after making two promises to myself: I would share my truth with an eye toward improving society and I would publish regularly. Ultimately, the promise to publish regularly became a commitment to put out a new article each week.
This is the 200th of these articles.
This feat has not been easily attained. Showing up 200 weeks in a row is challenging in any context.
Yet, by accepting that writing will always be an important part of my life and chasing an ambitious goal related to it, I have persevered.
Yes, this forum has finally allowed me to live into the tenets of the Serenity Prayer. And my life is better for it.
So, what’s the actual secret to success? Determination? Passion? Talent?
I believe the answer is actually a healthy mix of accepting and chasing.
When we accept what we cannot change, we can set adequate boundaries. We can determine what’s worth chasing after, and how to pursue it most effectively.
Doing this might clip the wings on our sense of freedom. It might threaten our ability to dream as wide as the Texas sky.
But ultimately, it will help us fulfill our destiny faster. With fewer fits and starts along the way.
Chasing. Accepting. They’re two sides of the same coin.
It’s about time we recognized that.