How should we evaluate people?
This is a concern we all have.
It’s difficult to find the right attributes to benchmark others by, particularly when our heart conflicts with our head.
It’s a challenge to differentiate between character and action.
The divide between character and action is similar to that between effort and execution. We lavish praise for one, yet make important decisions based on another.
In essence, we love to talk about how great people are, and how great they make us feel. But we don’t ultimately judge them on those attributes.
Or at least we shouldn’t.
You see, far too often we hear a familiar refrain.
They haven’t been holding up their end of the bargain, but they’re such a nice person. So, I’m not going to do anything.”
Wait, what?
By relying on a person’s character when making a decision in this scenario, we do more than merely let them off the hook for inaction.
We shortchange ourselves.
Character is good. Character is important. But in a results-based society, character cannot be paramount.
Regardless how strong someone’s character might seem, it’s their actions that make the biggest impact. These actions can help us or hurt us. And we owe it to ourselves to avoid that second outcome.
On a basic level, we understand this delineation. We recognize that we must be firm and objective when evaluating options and making decisions.
But in practice, it’s hard to follow through. After all, we don’t want to appear as cold and heartless. We’d rather not rebuke the kindness we’ve received with a sharp “No thanks.”
So, we put character on a pedestal. We place the soft-skill of likability over the measurable attribute of productivity.
This makes us feel good. It makes us feel like we’re contributing to society, and that we care about others. But these sensations blind us to the damage we’re doing to ourselves.
Yes, despite what folk tale wisdom might say, leading with the heart can be very dangerous.
Quality character should be table stakes in our society. There’s no reason for us to treat others badly. We all deserve kindness and respect.
Sadly, not everyone demonstrates this level of character. So, it becomes an object of our desire.
This starts the vicious cycle that send our values out of whack. That prioritizes bedside manner over results.
We must correct course.
We must remember that actions speak louder than words. That character is no substitute for results.
We can continue to promote quality character, of course. To instill it in the hearts and minds of others. Making the world a better place is always worth doing.
But we must leave it there. And not forget where our priorities must lie.
Character speaks loudly. Action speaks loudest.