It’s the most wonderful time of the year.
How often have you heard these words? Probably quite a bit.
There’s a good reason for this. As the weather gets colder and the daylight gets shorter, a sense of wonder overcomes us.
It doesn’t matter which hardships we’ve faced, or what challenges still lie ahead. Almost by instinct, we are filled with bliss as the calendar reaches its nadir.
There are gifts to purchase, light displays to peruse, and loved ones to share the time with. Our hearts are full, and our gripes are forgotten.
At least that’s the way it’s traditionally been. But now, everything is different.
Or is it?
For many, the holiday season has long been the most miserable time of the year.
There can be a physiological explanation for this sense of misery. After all, the winter chill cuts to the bone, causing us to shiver in discomfort. And the lack of sunlight can drag down our mood — a condition known as Seasonal Affectiveness Disorder.
But there are other causes for the pall that many reckon with during this period.
One key cause is depression. This is a condition that has long been stigmatized in our society. And so, those afflicted with it feel compelled to suffer in silence.
Dealing with depression is challenging enough throughout the year. But in a time where marketers, media figures, neighbors, and our loved ones are all doubling down on happiness, those battling darker emotions often feel even more marginalized.
The choices are stark. Suffer silently in the shadows or put on a fake smile and join the revelry.
Neither is helpful for those facing an existential crisis.
So yes, it would seem that even the best of traditions — a time of the year when we spread kindness — has a dark side to it.
And these days, more of us are discovering this dark side. The worst health crisis of our lifetimes is like a slow-motion car wreck. The death tolls and economic hardship cast a long shadow that we can’t just turn away from once Frosty the Snowman starts showing up on TV.
Perhaps the most insidious part of this virus is the way it affects our social connections. Gathering together is a hallmark of our society. It’s how we find prosperity and fulfillment. It’s how we grow our influence and gain protection.
But with a lethal virus spreading like wildfire, such actions lead to outsize danger. And so, we avoid them at all costs.
Now, this is not to say all is lost. Technology has helped fill the gap, allowing us to socialize, seek entertainment, and shop in a virtual setting. But some societal aspects can’t be as seamlessly adjusted to a digital screen. And holiday traditions are prime among those.
Even as we reimagine those traditions for a world where the act of gathering in person is taboo, these measures ring hollow.
The most wonderful time of the year seems anything but.
Find what sparks joy.
It seems like a simple edict. But it can be mesmerizingly frustrating to pull off.
This is why Marie Kondo is such a popular figure in our society. Her ability to tap into the zeitgeist of sparking joy is not a trivial matter. Neither is her penchant for finding a productive outlet for this pursuit — decluttering our homes.
Marie Kondo helps give language to something we feel deeply but struggle to describe. She makes our lives better by making this treasured sensation relatable.
It’s an impressive feat. But not an unprecedented one.
For plenty of household names have cut their teeth at the root of joy.
Coca-Cola’s motto has long been Open Happiness. This branding is as effective as it is simple. (Think about it. Have you ever been miserable drinking a Coke?)
Meanwhile, Nike has helped people find a different kind of bliss. Matching style, athletic performance, and the tagline Just Do It, Nike has inspired millions to kindle the joy of achievement.
And then there is the master of all joy sparkers — Disney. What started with uplifting movies featuring fairy tales and a gregarious mouse has turned into a full-on dopamine factory. There’s merchandise galore to buy. There are TV channels and streaming services available day and night. And there’s a sprawling theme park dubbed The Happiest Place On Earth.
Scoff at all this if you’d like. But the talents of Disney, Nike, Coca-Cola, and Marie Kondo are undeniable. The truckloads of money we throw their way underscore this fact.
When it comes to sparking joy, we trust these brands and personalities more than we trust ourselves.
But it doesn’t have to be this way.
When I was a child, I was scared of the dark.
Terrified, really.
My parents were well aware of this. So, they plugged a night light into my bedroom wall socket. That night light would cast a faded glow on the four corners of the room, letting me know that everything was still there.
This solution quickly yielded new problems. I used to pitch a fit whenever we’d take an overnight trip since it meant I might sleep somewhere without a night light.
It was a valid concern. For while some hosts — like my grandparents — kept a night light in their guest rooms, others — like the Red Roof Inn off the highway — did not.
Fortunately, this phase did not last forever. It was an arduous process, but I eventually learned to accept the practice of sleeping in the dark.
I let go of my inhibitions. I embraced the silence of the abyss. I even found joy in it.
I see some similarities between my journey back then and the moment we face now. For, while the world might seem unfathomably dark, we are adaptable. With enough practice and persistence, we can reckon with the curveballs thrown our way. We might even find the slivers of joy within it.
For joy may seem like a grandiose emotion. But it starts in small places.
So, as we settle into new routines, let’s remain optimistic. Let’s search for signs of delight and wonder. And let’s use those to spark joy at a time when it’s so badly needed.
The power is in our hands. Let’s make this a wonderful time of the year once again.