It was so much better back then.
This is the great lament. The pang of regret, of longing, of melancholy nostalgia that eats at many of us from time to time.
When the present seems uncertain or uncomfortable, it’s all too natural to look backward. To rewind to a moment that seems more familiar and less scary. To gaze upon the shiny glow of that moment and believe in its superiority.
But as the saying goes, All that glitters is not gold.
When I look at the world around me, I tend to take the long view.
After all, the structures around us are built to last. Highways, homes and infrastructure have been designed to stand the test of time. And the average life expectancy in the developed world is going up too.
Yes, there are notable exceptions to these standard measures. But on the whole, things seem to be designed for the long-haul. And so, I focus on how we can continue to better ourselves over an extended time period.
But even as I stare toward the horizon, I’m keenly aware of what lies 6 inches from my nose. The short-term might not be my main focus, but it still matters.
In recent times, that fact has been more evident than ever.
A dangerous virus has forced us to upend our patterns of social interaction. A recession has left millions without an income. And longstanding tensions from race relations and political divisiveness have threatened to boil over.
The sun may still be shining in America. But it’s been hard to feel the warm glow.
As I’ve watched the short-term outlook deteriorate, I’ve found myself yearning for better days. Not in the uncertain future. But in the distant past.
I’ve found myself nostalgic for the 1990s.
The 1990s. What a time it was.
I was only a kid back then, but I recall things being harmonious. There didn’t seem to be as imminent threats out there. And there didn’t appear to be as much division and despair as what’s commonplace these days.
We could just live back then. At least that’s the way I remember it.
But take a wider view, and it’s clear that my rosy memories of that era are incomplete.
For one thing, there was still plenty of division. It was just underground. The Internet as we know it was in its nascent stages. And with no social media channels or smartphones, it was all but impossible for the divisive bickering of that era to reach today’s levels of public consciousness.
For another thing, there was plenty of despair to be found. While the United States government was running a budget surplus, unemployment numbers were often still above 5 percent. Plenty of people were poor, hungry and without a path to a better tomorrow. The angst that bands like Nirvana channeled in their music those days was real.
But these facts weren’t hitting me in the face at that time. For I was in a middle-class household under the care of attentive parents. I was insulated from the darkness of those days.
Well, mostly.
My family did get the print version of the New York Times. And on my way to scanning the sports section, I would see the front page headlines.
The partisan bitterness during President Bill Clinton’s impeachment trial. Instances of racial profiling amongst the New Jersey state troopers. The horrific murder of James Byrd, who was chained to a pickup truck by racists in rural Texas and dragged for nearly three miles.
I would look at these stories in horror. But after a day or two, the routine of life would kick in — school, homework, family dinner — and I would forget all about the ugliness that lurked all around me.
There is no blissful ignorance. Not anymore.
Recent events have laid bare the disharmony of life. The gulf of distrust between us. The presence of vile hatred in pockets of society. And the inequality of opportunity.
In the past several years, we’ve been asked to part with our rooted assumptions. To change our behavior in order to promote equity and ensure safety.
We should be up for the challenge. After all, this task has been asked of us for the entirety of the millennium. Or at least since the aftermath of the 9/11 attacks.
And yet, we’d still rather escape to a rosy memory than tackle the beast in our midst.
Even as that rosy memory remains illustrative fiction.
Hindsight may be 20-20. But the benefit of clarity comes at the cost of context.
It may be easy to look back on a previous era and call it friendlier. But if we could hop in Doc Brown’s DeLorean and travel back there, the situation on the ground would look much different.
I may be look happily on the 1990s now. But truth be told, I wasn’t all that happy back then. I was saddled with anxiety and battling depression. My joyful memories help hide the acute pain I felt in that moment.
And I wasn’t alone. Plenty of people with more life experience than me were also miserable. And they yearned for an era that had passed them by. Even in the afterglow of the Iron Curtain’s collapse, many didn’t feel the present was a step forward.
This pattern has continued to perpetuate. In the social media age, people like to brand each year the Worst Year Ever. This branding stuck in 2009, when Michael Jackson died unexpectedly and a recession decimated the economy. But such a moniker also stuck in 2010, 2011, 2012, and so on.
In the fog of the moment, we are incapable of finding the right does of perspective. And that can become a major problem.
The moment now facing us is unprecedented.
It’s uncomfortable to have to abandon such hallmarks as social interaction or in-person entertainment. It’s disconcerting to think that a trip to a grocery store could ultimately kill us. And it’s excruciating to stumble through the mist with no idea when this moment will be over.
Just about no one is looking at this era with a smile on their face.
But we can do better than seeking an escape.
We can search for the silver linings. We can build for a brighter future. We can focus on our actions and mute our laments.
We can reshape our situation in a manner we can be proud of for years to come.
Nothing’s stopping us from doing this. Nothing but ourselves.
So, let’s break free of the hamster wheel.
The past might be comforting. But the present is still being written. And the future is up for grabs.
Let’s seize the moment.