Going with the flow.
It can be a treasured trait.
There are many who aspire to wake up each morning and see where the day takes them. Each occurrence representing a new adventure, or a new slew of possibilities.
I must admit I do not subscribe to this theory.
My life is far more measured. I crave control and loathe surprises.
The more prepared I am, the better off I’ll be. That’s what I’ve been saying for years.
This mindset has helped me get ahead.
It’s encouraged me to keep my eyes open. It’s helped me to keep learning. And, to a great degree, it’s prevented me from making the same mistake twice.
Yet, I’ve found it’s not a great life philosophy to espouse.
For if there’s one predictable trait in life, it’s unpredictability.
Fresh surprises await around every corner, and the best laid plans often go to waste.
When they do, the key is to not rue our misfortune. Indeed, we are better off adapting to the hand we’ve been dealt and moving forward.
We are better off letting it ride.
In recent years, I’ve slowly started to accept this edict. As I’ve added more and more to my plate — including business school classes and a volunteer leadership position — I’ve come to realize my expectations for how things should go are akin to guesses.
With a jam-packed schedule, I have to be on top of my game for everything to go off without a hitch. But there are plenty of curveballs out there to ruin my carefully choreographed plan. Poor health, bad weather and exhaustion are three that come to mind.
These issues aren’t new, of course. I’ve been wrangling with them all my life to some degree. But with less free time on my calendar and more responsibilities on my plate, their presence has provided me bigger problems than ever before.
Initially, I lamented the opportunities these issues cost me. I shook my fist at the sky after outdoor events I’d planned got rained out. I wondered why that nasty cold had to show up on the week I had plans. I beat myself up over not staying up even later to study for that exam — even if a lack of sleep was what led to my poor marks.
But gradually, I came to realize that carrying this baggage did me no good.
What had happened, had happened. Whether or not I had expected it, there was no use in rehashing the past.
The best I could do was to move forward. To let it ride.
So, I did. And that change had a drastic impact.
First, I noticed that most of what I had previously pined over was immaterial — or, at best, minor. Sure, getting sauce stains on my white shirt was not ideal. Neither was sleeping in and missing my morning workout. But, aside from looking like a slob in the moment or being out of sync with my routine, there were no lingering effects. Better not to waste time and energy on it.
Second, I was better able to think procedurally. When I came across an unexpected occurrence, I was able to think about next steps instead of ruing my lack of foresight. Timeliness was important in these instances. I was wasting far less time paralyzed by the question of what happened and instead spending more of it on the question of what to do next.
And third, my control-centric nature was able to find some inner peace. While it would seem that my lack of concern as to what had already happened would upset my controlling nature, the truth is I couldn’t control what happened if I tried. It was already written, but I had far more control over what came next.
In short, my energy was devoted to the right places. And because of that, I was able to be more productive.
I am not the only one who can benefit from this shift. We all can reap the rewards of letting it ride from time to time.
The key is discretion.
After all, it does us no good to let it ride all the time. If we just leave everything up to fate, we cede the change to determine our own destiny. Worse still, we’ll appear unmotivated and unreliable.
Yet, micromanaging the past is a fool’s errand as well. It does us no use to cry over spilled milk. The past is past.
It’s finding the balance between these extremes that’s the trickiest. Knowing when to let it ride and when to take charge.
It can be tricky finding this sweet spot. But that quest is worthwhile.
So, fight through the discomfort. Take time to determine what to hang on to and what to let go.
And when the situation is right, let it ride.