Month: February 2025

When It Goes Right

As I strode up to home plate, memories flooded my mind.

Memories of the last time I’d dug into a batter’s box.

It was a couple games ago, on a baseball field 25 miles away. I had been summoned off the bench as a pinch hitter. And everything seemed to be moving at a million miles a minute.

I took a couple of pitches, with the umpire calling one a strike. Then I slashed a ball into foul territory.

I was down to my last strike. And I was terrified of looking like a fool in front of my teammates.

So, as the next pitch came in, I left the bat on my shoulder. It spun toward the outermost edge of home plate, landing with a dull thud in the catcher’s mitt.

Strike three, the umpire shouted. I made the short walk back to the dugout, all semblance of self-confidence extinguished.

So, as I dug into the batter’s box for this delayed second chance, I had just one objective.

Don’t strike out looking.

The pitcher wound up and hurled the baseball. It bounced in the dirt several feet to the outside of home plate.

I smirked. No one was going to swing at that. Not even me.

Still, now was no time to get cocky. With a pitch that bad, who knew where the next one was going?

So, I zoned in. I stared intently at the pitcher as he prepared his next offering.

It sailed toward the upper part of the strike zone. A bit away from my body, but still reachable.

I took a swing and felt my bat connect with the ball. Then I watched the ball head straight toward the second baseman.

He leaped, and my heart sank. Another at bat was about to go to waste.

But a funny thing happened on the way to despair. The ball kept rising over the second baseman’s outstretched glove, before dropping to the ground in the outfield grass behind him.

I’d gotten a hit — the first of my high school baseball career.

As I stood on first base, my coach gave me a fist bump.

Good job. Now, stay focused.

I nodded. But this would prove to be an impossible task.

You see, I was still flabbergasted. I’d shown myself capable of close to nothing up in that one prior at bat. But somehow, I’d just peppered a humpback line drive into right field. What was happening?

The disbelief continued into the next game. Summoned off the bench yet again, I rolled a ground ball past an infielder’s lunging dive. I had another hit.

Now, I was 2 for 3 on the season. And technically I — the last guy on the depth chart — had the team’s highest batting average.

Where had this surge of success come from? And what was I to do with it?

I’ve spent more than half my life trying to figure that out.

Those three at bats were my final ones of organized baseball.

I tried out for the team again the next spring. But this time, I didn’t make it.

I none too surprised. There was a reason I was the last guy on the depth chart the season prior, after all.

Still, getting cut from the team exposed me to the rawness of reality. If baseball wasn’t going to be my future, I needed to figure out what would be.

That quest took several years. And even when I thought I had it figured, life had a few curveballs for me.

A recession. A career change. A layoff. Several drawn out job searches. And more than my fair share of work projects that didn’t yield the expected results.

After more than a decade of these occurrence, I’ve come to expect the worst. I might stride to the plate with the best of intentions, but I know that Strike Three call is coming.

So, when it doesn’t, I’m dumbfounded. I find myself frozen in my good fortune, unsure what to do next.

It might seem like a good problem to have. But it’s still a problem.

There’s a scene in the movie Talladega Nights that’s etched in my mind.

Main character Ricky Bobby is out to dinner with his sons and his parents at Applebee’s. It’s the first time in his life when the family is enjoying a restaurant meal together.

Suddenly, Ricky’s father — Reese — causes a commotion. He quickly gets kicked out of the restaurant.

When Ricky chases after his father, Reese explains that things were going too well for his liking. He caused a scene to find an escape.

I’m nowhere near as ornery as Reese Bobby. I’m not inclined to sabotage my success.

Still, I understand his perspective.

For a favorable outcome means little in the grand scheme of things. In a world that’s often cold and random, a glimmer of light is just a flash in the pan. It’s foolish to make anything more of it.

Yet, our world relies on us making more of it. On getting base hit after base hit. On going on a winning streak.

Life favors those who can handle success. The optimists. The dreamers. The charismatic.

The rest get left behind. And if I’m not careful, I will too.

Own your wins.

I share these words with my co-workers whenever they deflect the praise I send their way.

Modesty is considered a proper approach in professional settings. But it condemns far too many of my talented teammates to the shadows. So I break through its defenses, time and agein.

But when it’s time for me to step into the limelight, I tend to resist. Why bask in the glory of something that I can’t explain or knowingly replicate? Why search for meaning in the meaningless?

After all, the struggles I’ve endured – the challenges, the failings – they matter far more. That’s what I’ve told myself for years.

Lately though, I’ve started to change my tune.

I’ve come to recognize that the narrative of a realist is anything but a best seller. The community around us will only be regaled in the woe of dead ends if there’s some hope on the horizon.

My wins – spurious as they may seem – provide that hope. They make my story palatable to others. Others who might, in turn, open the door to more opportunities.

So, I’m taking my own advice. I’m accepting my successes for the mysteries they are. I’m owning my wins.

I don’t know if my new approach will yield me more favorable outcomes. But one can hope.

And for the first time in a long time, I am.

Means to an End

As I made my way into the starting corral, I started to shiver.

It was a frigid morning, reinforced by a fierce north wind. And I was hardly dressed for it.

As I leaned down to stretch, I noticed the contradiction. I was wearing shorts and an athletic t-shirt, while everyone else around me was decked out in sweatpants and jackets.

Most of these outerwear items appeared ragged and mismatched. But that was beside the point. Those sporting them seemed warm, while I was burning precious energy trying to keep from freezing.

As I pondered my predicament, I heard an announcement over the loudspeakers.

5 minutes until the starting gun.

Almost in unison, I saw the fellow runners around me shed their outer layers and tossed them aside. Piles of sweatpants accumulated on the edges of the corral. Scores of jackets cascaded over the perimeter fencing.

The finish line for this race was located several blocks away from here. We wouldn’t be coming back, and there would be no opportunity to retrieve these items. The other runners were effectively throwing them away.

But no one seemed worried about that. After all, there was a race to run.

A few weeks after I crossed the finish line, I stepped onto a running track near my home before sunrise.

It was Track Tuesday, and I had a workout planned on the circuit. But first I needed to warm up.

So, I joined a group of fellow runners who were jogging a few laps on the track.

I knew these runners well enough to expect a conversation topic to dominate our warmup. But this morning’s topic caught me off guard.

Throwaway clothes.

This was the accepted term for the sweatpants and jackets I’d seen littering the corral at my recent race. It represented warmup gear that was intentionally abandoned.

My fellow runners explained that throwaway clothes were best purchased on the cheap at thrift stores or Walmart. The look and fit didn’t matter, because you wouldn’t have those items on you for long anyway.

Essentially, throwaway clothes were a means to an end. Much like the carbohydrate gel packs runners kept in the pockets of their shorts, or the water cups at the aid stations on the racecourse, they were meant to be used once and quickly disposed of.

No looking back. No remorse. No regret. The clothes did their job so that we could do ours.

I struggled to accept this concept. For it clashed heavily with my ethos.

I had become accustomed to looking stylish while exercising. I was convinced that mismatched shorts and shirts were for hobby joggers. As a competitive distance runner, I aimed to appear professional.

On top of that, I was beholden my late grandfather’s golden rule. Never throw anything away if you can get more use from it.

Now, I was being advised to violate both principles. All in the service of a greater goal.

Fortunately, I had time to adjust. Winter was nearing its end as we bantered on the track, and warmup gear was already becoming a moot point.

I would soon be showing up at the starting lines my usual garb. And so would everyone else. No sweatpants or jackets to be found in the corral.

Still, I knew I needed a plan for the cooler mornings ahead. If I was to race well in the fall, I needed to avoid freezing in the corral again.

So, I began to get my throwaway gear plan in order. But fate kept me from rolling it out.

I sustained an injury while training in the summer. I recovered, only to retain another series of injuries and undergo ankle surgery.

I never did make to the starting line of another race. And I never did end up purchasing throwaway clothes.

The end I was working towards had evaporated. And so had the means to get there.

I am proud of what I achieved in my racing career, abbreviated as it was.

The race times I posted still astonish me. The hardware I collected adorns a wall in my home. The talented people I trained with remain dear friends.

Still, it’s hard not to wince when reminiscing on it all. For even without throwaway clothes, the means to an end perspective percolates through my competitive running odyssey.

Each training block I tackled was designed to get me through the next race. Each race time I posted was the bar to clear for the next one.

I was on a long-distance journey, but each milestone was disposable.

Perhaps I should have paid more attention to where I was, instead of where I was going. Perhaps I should have soaked up the moment a bit more.

But it’s hard to blame myself. After all, I’m hardly the only one to make this type of error – both in the running community and outside of it.

Indeed, means to an end describes a great portion of our society. So much of what we do, what we consume, and what we expose ourselves to is devoid of cultural relevance.

It’s what those actions, those goods, and those experiences can lead us to that’s deemed important. The rest is simply the price of admission.

Yet, we struggle to accept that reality.

For we are wired to find meaning in utility, to seek purpose in the journey. The narrative arc is not just the domain of Disney movies; it’s the cornerstone of our lives.

Furthermore, we are appalled by the notion that we might be means to an end. That we could be viewed as interchangeable, non-essential, or otherwise lacking in unique value.

So, we fight the good fight. We strive to prove how essential each stone along our path is. And we take each rebuke as an affront to our self-worth.

In essence, we set ourselves up for misery – day in, day out. And we suffer accordingly.

How do we get out of this rut?

How do we accept the transactional, the interchangeable – all without losing our soul in the process?

It starts between the ears.

Fighting against society’s gravitational pull is like shouting at a brick wall. It’s a lot of effort that yields few results.

It’s far better to work on our own narrative. To take stock of what we feel is essential and what we deem disposable. And to separate those sentiments from the prevailing winds.

Such defined dissonance requires discipline. It requires focus. It requires grit.

It’s a hard bargain. But for the sake of our sanity, it’s worthwhile.

So, let’s get after it.

The Culture Flub

I got the text in the middle of the night.

Bro, I thought this was a joke.

The “joke” my friend was referring to was encapsulated in another alert on my phone. The Dallas Mavericks had traded away their superstar point guard Luka Doncic.

I sat up in bed and reread the alert. There had been no indication this was coming. But then again, there was no reason it couldn’t happen.

Yes, Doncic was one of the best basketball players in the world, in the prime of his career. But even those elite players had a price – usually another superstar and a boatload of draft picks.

But glancing over the alert a third time, I found no indication of such a return. Yes, there was another superstar coming back to Dallas – an older one with a lower ceiling. But the rest of the return was a role player and a solitary draft pick.

The value exchange seemed nowhere near even. For all intents and purposes, the Mavericks had given away a generational player.

Roughly 12 hours later, Mavericks General Manager Nico Harrison sat in front of reporters, attempting to explain the move he’d just made.

Harrison spoke about the team’s desire to win a championship, after having fallen short several months earlier. And he emphasized the importance of bringing in players who could add to the team’s culture.

It was quite the theory. But it was already clear that most Mavericks fans weren’t buying it.

Many had already spewed vitriol online. Others had staged a mock funeral for Doncic’s Dallas tenure – complete with a casket – on the plaza outside the team’s arena. A memorial shrine to the superstar had blossomed nearby.

One of the reporters highlighted this to Harrison, who replied that the fans would come around once the team won a championship.

And if they didn’t win one in the next few years?

Well, they’ll bury me then, Harrison replied.

He was wrong. They already had.

I’ve lived in the Dallas area for many years. And I still find myself amazed by the misconceptions the region contends with.

There are still the lingering stereotypes of Big Hair and Trophy Wives from the 1980s. There are still the Land of Steakhouses and Strip Clubs claims. And there are the reductive barbs about the region being filled with a sea of snobs in their Mercedes.

But the one that gets me riled up the most is the claim that Dallas is a winner’s town.

Now, this reductive claim holds true across most large southern cities. While all of America is captivated by success, there seems to be a more ruthless demand for it in the Sunbelt – particularly when it comes to professional sports. If a team struggles to win in Atlanta, Tampa, Miami, Houston, Phoenix, or Charlotte, there’s a good chance fans will stop packing the stands.

On the face of it, this can appear true in Dallas too. When the Texas Rangers and the Dallas Stars struggled in baseball and hockey, respectively, it wasn’t hard to spot empty seats around the ballpark or the arena.

But that hasn’t proved true at all for the Dallas Mavericks. For a generation, fans have packed the stands for each game. And they’ve proudly worn their replica basketball jerseys around town.

Some of this can be attributed to sustained success on the court. The Mavericks made the postseason in 20 of the first 25 seasons of this millennium, winning a championship in one of those seasons.

But the city’s lovefest with the Mavericks has more to do with two names – Dirk Nowitzki and Luka Doncic.

Each arrived in Texas from Europe to play basketball for the club — 20 years apart. And as each developed into a superstar on the court, they came of age off it — in the same community that filled the stands at the arena.

Nowitzki and Doncic only shared the court for one season. But that year felt like a passing of a torch.

Doncic saw how Dallas embraced Nowitzki wholeheartedly — how the city viewed him as a key strand of their fabric, rather than just a great basketball star. And he took strides to follow in those footsteps.

Indeed, Luka Doncic was core to the culture of Dallas. He was in rap songs and on billboards. He enthusiastically gave his time and energy to community service around town. He willingly mingled at local establishments with the masses who picked the stands at his games.

He was a man of the city. He was the city.

Until Harrison shipped him away in the dead of the night.

In the business world, there’s plenty of discussion about culture.

Maintaining a strong corporate culture is paramount. So is understanding the culture of consumers.

If either process is broken, a company will leak oil. Progress will be halted, and viability will become a concern.

Nico Harrison knows this well. He previously was an executive at Nike — a company lauded for harnessing both sides of the equation.

And yet, he somehow failed to follow those principles in Dallas.

Perhaps, yes, the Dallas Mavericks internal culture could be improved by a personnel shakeup. For all his greatness, Doncic did have deficiencies on defense. And he complained to the referees far too often.

But by ignoring the effects such a move would have on the associated consumer culture, Harrison failed. He failed himself, he failed the Mavericks, and he failed the city of Dallas.

And when Harrison inferred that local fans embrace championship rings more than the players who earn them, he made himself an eternal pariah.

All of this has far-reaching consequences.

There’s no doubt that the Mavericks’ brand has been degraded by this culture flub, and its connection to the city is in tatters. Harrison himself has unfortunately faced death threats, and the coffee shop where he started the clandestine trade talks has become terra non grata.

There are still chapters to be written, of course. Maybe the new players connect with the Dallas community and become part of its culture – all while delivering a title to the city. Maybe a new hope rises – Star Wars style – and becomes the next Nowitzki or Doncic.

But regardless of what transpires, a cloud will remain over the Mavericks organization.

The franchise got the city of Dallas wrong. They got the rules of culture wrong.

And that won’t ever be forgotten.

A Capital Gamble

It was a weekday afternoon in June.

The sun was blazing. The air was heavy. And the mercury had eclipsed 100 degrees.

Yet, as I made my way into the air-conditioned comfort of a chain restaurant, I found it nearly empty.

Apparently, this wasn’t dining-out weather for others. But it was for me.

So, I ambled over to the bar and asked for a food menu.

The bartender glanced at the suit I had on and smiled.

You look real fancy for the bar at a Razzoo’s.

I explained that I’d just come from a job interview up the road. One that I thought had gone well.

That’s great, the bartender replied. I’m sure you’ll land the role.

A few moments later, a basket of fried crawfish and shrimp appeared in front of me. And as I dug in, I started to daydream.

What if the bartender was right? What possibilities would that unlock?

Plenty.

I’d finally get to move out of the extended stay hotel I’d been in for months. I’d pay down the credit card debt I’d accrued. Maybe I’d go out on the town and meet people.

This job was the key to unlocking my life. I just needed the opportunity.

A few days later, my phone rang. It was the Marketing Director I’d interviewed with, calling to offer me the job.

I happily accepted.

Over the next several months, I transformed myself from a business novice into a reliable marketing professional. My employer took on clients, and I helped drive results for them. The Marketing Director added two more marketers to work alongside me.

But then, one client decided our services weren’t good enough. They forced their way out of their contract, leaving my employer short on revenue. Tension started to build.

I pressed my nose further into the grindstone. I told myself that my hard work would cure all – preserving the company and my spot in it.

Besides, it wasn’t like I had any other option. I was still low on cash and high on debt. And now, I had an apartment rent to cover.

It didn’t matter.

I soon got the dreaded Hey do you have a moment to talk? Prompt from the Marketing Director. Despite my best efforts, I was being let go.

By the time I made it home and unloaded my belongings from the car, reality had sunk in.

Despite my best efforts, I had failed. Failed at keeping my job and earning a steady income.

I realized how dire my situation was. Before that lunch at Razzoo’s, I’d spent three months in career limbo. I watched helplessly as job application after job application went awry.

Now, I was in a similar spot — with only marginally more experience on my resume.

If I wanted to keep my apartment and the possessions in it, I needed someone to offer me another job. And this needed to happen before my severance dried up.

Fortunately, my luck was better this time. Within days, I was in discussions for three digital marketing positions. I got two offers from those conversations, and I was able to take my pick of employer.

I had gone from losing to winning in a flash. But I remained on edge.

For what had just happened to me could easily reoccur down the line. And if it did, I might not find the same good fortune.

Capitalism is one of America’s great legacies.

It’s no coincidence that the country that declared itself independent in 1776 adopted the economic theories of Adam Smith – theories first were published that same year.

The invisible hand of the free market has helped propel America from a fledgling nation to a global powerhouse. It’s built prosperity and fostered influence.

But those outcomes are far from guaranteed.

You see, capitalism is built on the premise of equal access. Of supply and demand having free reign in a marketplace.

When the two meet, opportunities can proliferate. And when those opportunities are seized, magic can happen.

But even if the conditions are ripe, such opportunities don’t appear on their own. They must be offered up by people. And people are notoriously unpredictable.

As such, the game of capitalism is lathered with risk. If an opportunity falls through, there’s no guarantee that the next one will be as juicy. In fact, there’s no guarantee that there will be another opportunity at all.

I think about this when looking back on my early career journey, and all the bumps in the road I endured. Sure, well-wishers were quick to tell that everything would work out. But was that actually true?

Not in the least.

The truth was that I was taking a capital gamble each time I readied myself for work in the morning. A gamble that my opportunity would still be there at the end of the day. And that another would follow if this one fell through.

This game wasn’t for the faint of heart. I understood that.

But I swallowed my anxiety and played along. Just as I do today.

More than a decade has passed since I was last unemployed. And these days, I’m far more prepared for that adverse outcome.

I’ve built up an emergency fund to cover expenses. I’ve gathered years of marketing experience. I’ve earned a master’s degree in business administration and built a professional network.

But even with that elaborate buffer, I’m hardly at ease. Far from it.

For I know that despite my successes, I’m only three steps removed from desperation. And I recognize that each opportunity that eludes my grasp might be the last one I get.

It’s a sobering reality. But it’s one I readily accept.

You see, I now recognize that life is inherently unfair. Even at its elemental level, outcomes can vary arbitrarily.

A full safety net, a clean slate — it might artificially raise our floor. But it also lowers our ceiling. All while merely distracting us from the world’s sobering realities.

It’s better to face the darkness. To take a bit of risk in pursuit of the golden glow of opportunity.

That’s why I keep riding the roller coaster into parts unknown. That’s why I keep embracing the challenge and accepting the process.

A capital gamble is nothing to sneeze at. But it’s nothing to run away from either.