Month: March 2017

Dress To Impress

How much does our fashion sense matter?

In certain moments, a lot.

We understand that when it’s a black-tie event, we better dress to the nines. And we don’t show up for the job interview in an AC/DC T-shirt and torn jeans.

But what about the rest of the time, when there are no wedding photographers to pose for or potential bosses to impress?

When informality fails to stick out like a sore thumb, how will we respond?

It’s a valid question in the wake of Leggingsgate — where a United Airlines gate agent barred a couple of young women from boarding a plane because they were wearing leggings.

The gate agent was technically justified in her action. The women were using their status as relatives of United employees to fly free, and this left them subject to a dress code. Still, the story led to widespread uproar. Uproar that only intensified when United doubled down on the policy and a rival airline poked fun at it.

This entire fiasco was bad optics for Untied (as a family friend likes to call them). But it also brought the issues plaguing our new society to a new realm — The Friendly Skies.

On one side of this battle are thousands of angry people — many of them women — fighting for the right to wear whatever they want while in the air.  On the other side is United Airlines — who is trying to tell people what they can wear on board.

It’s a compelling battle. And both sides are wrong.

***

Technically, we should be allowed to wear what we want, when we want. It is a free country, after all. But having the freedom to dress however we want and actually doing so are two different things — particularly when it comes to catching a flight.

Yes, air travel is a unique situation. We’re crammed in close quarters within a metal tube for several hours — and hundreds of strangers are judging us for the duration. How we look, how we act — and yes, whether we wear deodorant — nothing goes unnoticed.

This is an uncomfortable proposition to many travelers, so they go to great lengths to ignore the elephant in the room. They dress how and act how they want, in part, to put a barrier between them and the issue.

However, I view this situation air travel provides as something else — an opportunity.

A plane ride is a chance to make a good first impression for a new crowd of people. And it all starts with the way I dress.

So, no T-shirts and flip-flops for me. My flying attire just about always consists of a button-down shirt, paired with either some nice slacks and dress shoes or a pair of boots and cowboy cut jeans. When I’m feeling less formal, I might dip into the polo, jeans and sneakers look.

Why this look? For one thing, it’s nice to have some nice attire when on vacation — and wearing some of my nicer clothes on the plane keeps it from getting wrinkled or crushed within my luggage. (This is also the reason I’ll wear a baseball hat or a cowboy hat on occasion.)

But my fashion choices are also a statement. They’re a proclamation that I treat the ability to fly as what it is — a privilege. And they serve notice of my intention to respect that privilege by acting with grace.

Essentially, I dress and act the same way classy way I hope to be treated by others.

And it works! In a world where in-flight etiquette is often questionable, fellow passengers generally act courteously toward me. Some even go as far as to strike up conversations with me on account of my attire.

It all makes the extra hassle at TSA worth it. (They have a field day with my boots and big ol’ belt buckle.)

***

Now, I don’t expect everyone to treat flying as a formal event. A plane ride is still just a journey from one city to another. Ladies, if you’d feel more comfortable traveling in yoga pants, a V-neck T-shirt and flip flops, go on ahead with it.

But let’s not forget that there are consequences to our choices. And while getting turned away at the gate for how we dress might be a bridge too far, we shouldn’t act as if our choice in attire doesn’t matter.

It does.

Like it or not, people are watching —  and they’re reacting to what they see. It’s human nature.

Fortunately, we have the power to steer this narrative. But the obligation is on us, and us alone.

Our fashion choices while five miles high tell a story. What will yours be?

 

The Light Bulb Moment

What happens when it all clicks?

When something that was once difficult to grasp suddenly makes sense. When what was once murky becomes crystal clear in our mind.

It’s pretty magical, ain’t it?

I call this instance “The Light Bulb Moment.”

Just like electric light, it can illuminate at the flip of a switch. And just like many other significant moments in life, it can be difficult to fully explain the sensation we feel when this happens.

Why is that? Well, there are a mix of emotions at play each time that switch is flipped.

On one hand, there’s a heightened sense of relief. Something that was one frustrating and exhausting for us to comprehend — such as a math principle or a business operation — suddenly requires far less effort, and we can step back take a deep breath.

But on the other hand, there’s often a desire to act upon what we can now comprehend — and quickly. This is inspired by both the excitement of testing our newfound understanding and the fear of it disappearing from our mind, should we fail to take immediate action.

It’s the balance between these conflicting triggers — one encouraging us to relax, the other spurring us further into the fray — that gives us those warm fuzzies that are hard to articulate with words. It’s what sends us into mad scientist mode, tinkering with that newly understood concept with a smile glued to our face.

And while this all might seem a bit odd and contrarian, The Light Bulb Moment reflects the human condition better than nearly every other situation.

You see, there’s a misconception that people just want everything to be easy and require little work. A misconception that we all want our version of the Staples Easy Button (y’all remember those, right?) in all walks of life.

Thing is, this is not entirely true. As a whole, humans are not lazy or averse to a challenge. We’re happy to put in the work, provided we understand what it is we’re doing and what the outcome of it will be.

Essentially, we just want everything to be clear. To not have to spend a ton of effort trying to grasp a concept or purpose.

This will make us more efficient and less flustered as we take on the myriad tasks life puts in our path. Both of these attributes allow us to be at our best. After all, frustration is hardly humanity’s best look.

This is why we devote ourselves to training and education. Why we value communication and teamwork. For the less time we spend trying to catch up, the more time we can spend in getting ahead.

That’s far more valuable.

So, we should cherish these light bulb moments. We should continue to seek them out and learn from them. But most importantly, we should continue to act on them.

For the more we do, the brighter our future becomes.

The One Word Challenge

How would you describe someone in one word?

It’s a tricky proposition — one I recently put to the test when I asked friends and family which word they’d use to describe me.

The answers I received were as fascinating as they were wide-ranging.

  • Bold
  • Loyal
  • Engaging
  • Generous
  • Welcoming

(For the record, the word I’d use to describe myself is “Driven.”)

Now, I know this sounds like a good spell of ego-baiting. But as someone who equates fishing for complements with fishing with dynamite, I can assure you that is not the purpose of this exercise.

No, the One Word Challenge is as much a deep-thinking exercise than anything else. And it’s more important than we’d prefer to admit.

Why do I say this? Because we live in a world where we take far too much for granted, even though we know we shouldn’t. And in particular, because we fail to recognize the fleeting nature of time and words until they’re taken from us.

This pervasive behavior allows us to live carefree, to enjoy our time with one another free of the foreboding that hangs on our eventual separation. Yet, it inevitably leads to regret at the end. To words left unsaid. To moments left unspent.

The solution to this conundrum is twofold. First, we must make every effort to cherish every moment we spend together. And second, we must refine our methods of taking stock of all we have.

That’s where the One Word Challenge comes in.

You see, we have a tendency to be long winded and eloquent when singing each other’s praises or sharing memories. This trend allows us to connect powerfully through emotion. It’s why we have speeches at weddings, at funerals and after winning awards.

But speeches should not be the only way we size each other up.

We still must be able to distill our relationship with others down to the basics. We must understand on a basic level what draws us to those we hold most dear. We must determine what they bring to us and what we give to them.

And it doesn’t get more basic than one word.

Now, this all might seem like little more than a framing exercise. But it’s much more.

I say the One World Challenge is a bridge.

It allows us to get to a common ground of understanding with those in our inner circle. To be aware of what draws us to each other, what we learn from each other and what we can do with that knowledge.

In an experiential society, this communication can help define our achievements while ensuring we stay true to our core. It can help inspire us to reach for the stars, yet still keep our feet rooted in the ground.

This delicate balance is what moves the world forward, and it’s best expressed in a two-word exchange.

So, go ahead and take the challenge. See how powerful one word can be.

Own The Moment

The stars shine bright when the lights are brightest.

This line might seem a bit cliché, but there’s a measure of truth to it. The most captivating performances do tend to come from those who own the moment.

I still remember the first time I recognized how true this statement could be. I was 14 years old, watching Allen Iverson take over a game at Madison Square Garden. Under the bright lights of perhaps basketball’s most iconic arena, “The Answer” scored basket after basket down the stretch — silencing 20,000 jeering fans and salting away a win for the Philadelphia 76ers.

It was amazing to see Iverson take that stage, that moment, and make it his own. But then again, that’s what great athletes do. People remember Michael Jordan, Tom Brady and Derek Jeter not only because of their immense talent, but also because of their ability to own the moment on their sports’ biggest stages. Here in Dallas, Dirk Nowitzki will be remembered as much for willing the Mavericks to the 2011 NBA championship as he will be for his Hall of Fame-level career statistics.

Yes, the greatest athletes know how to own the moment. But they’re not the only ones.

We all have an opportunity to own our moments too.

You see, there are times in each of our lives where the lights are on us. Whether we’re talking about a presentation or a proposal, a career change or a self-improvement project, the objective remains the same — own it.

What does that mean?

  • It means putting your heart into it. Devoting yourself to the moment itself as much as the outcome of it.
  • It means staying prepared. Taking the time and initiative beforehand to ready yourself for that moment.
  • It means being confident. Understanding that success is a mindset, and that fear of failure has no place in it.

Ultimately, owning the moment means embracing an aura of achievement. When the spotlight is on our face, our vigilance, devotion and attitude will tell the world the type of person we are — that we will take that light and make it ours.

Now, I realize that this requires extra work, intense focus and some soul searching. That might not seem palatable, particularly for the strenuous situations we must get through.

Still, it’s crucial that we focus on owning all of the moments we come across. It’s tantamount to survival.

After all, no one remembers those who let the moments swallow them whole. It’s the ones who rise to the occasion who tend to see success and recognition.

So, embrace those moments still ahead of you. Be thankful for the opportunities they bring.

Prepare. Devote. Believe.

The outcome might not be entirely in your hands, but your outlook sure is.

Own the moment.

What’s Granted

How much do we take for granted?

A lot.

The way we live. Our basic comforts. Whose company we cherish.

We don’t think twice about any of this. We assume it’s all part of the baseline from which we make our mark in the world.

It’s only when these assumptions are violently shattered — when we suddenly lose a loved one, our possessions or our status — that we start to consider how good we had it. We realize what we once took for granted only after it’s too late.

Why do we act like this? What makes us so tone-deaf to the fragility of all we rely on, of all that we hold dear?

The answer tugs at the root of the human condition.

We are naturally protective beings. This is why we’ve circled our wagons around our family and our territory for years.

The unwavering protection of what’s ours make us unique. After all, animals have been known to eat their young or wander nomadically.

But these traits also leave us in a conundrum. In order to protect our turf and our loved ones we must remain vigilant in fighting off all threats against them. But fighting is exhausting and energy is a finite resource. How can we be the continual protectors without burning out?

The answer lies in mitigation, in situational thinking. We accept our situation as normal and assume its permanence. This allows us to save our energy to only fight off imminent threats.

The irony is by hard-wiring ourselves to take what we cherish most for granted, we actually open ourselves to a far more advanced form of damage. Change becomes trying; emotions like grief and fear are all the more profound because we refuse to accept our situation as transient.

And when we are hit with a sudden change or loss, the pain of regret makes coping more difficult. If only I knew what I had when I had it becomes a common refrain. The wounds of our oblivious past linger as scars on our present and future.

This is a destructive pattern, but there is a way out of the maelstrom.

We must stop taking all we cherish for granted.

We must consider that all we hold dear has an expiration date — and that we do as well. We must embrace this uncomfortable fact and show continual gratitude for all we have. We must hold each other close, knowing a day will come when we let go. We must live for today, since tomorrow is no given.

This won’t take away the pain of loss or the uncertainty of change. But it will make the moments we share richer and the lives we live more vibrant. It will free us of the burden of regret, while allowing us to discover our true potential.

With this in mind, it’s time we open our eyes.

Nothing is granted. Everything is a privilege. Act accordingly.