Month: February 2016

Owning Our Mistakes

It was an unusually wonderful Thursday evening. Instead of staying home and watching Shades of Blue, I was at a bar in Dallas connecting with fellow University of Miami alumni. A couple drinks were had, many stories were shared, and the hours flew by.

Friday morning hit me like a ton of bricks. As I went through my 6 AM zombie-like wakeup routine for one final time that workweek, it dawned on me:

Did I ever pay for my drinks?

The answer was no.

My heart started racing. I’d made many mistakes before, but this was a particularly big one. And the fact that I didn’t even notice the mistake until 12 hours later compounded the issue. In this case, ignorance most certainly was not bliss.

My pride, integrity and morality were on the line. I’d screwed up — and screwed over a waitress who was relying on my gratuity. Immediately, my mind fixated on one question:

How will you respond?

There were really two options: I could have just moved on as if it never happened, or I could have tried to make it right.

I chose the second option.

I called the bar when they opened Friday evening, apologized and tried to settle my tab. It turned out an official from the Alumni office who was at the event had picked up my tab, and I later learned the University had reimbursed him for the expense.

Why am I bringing all this up, aside from sharing how I accidentally got the University of Miami to cover some adult beverages?

Well, in the course of our lives, we will make mistakes. Some of these will be small errors, like accidentally cutting the line at the deli. Others might be more significant, like forgetting to pay for your drinks.

In these cases, what happened doesn’t really matter. How you respond does.

Are you the kind of person who will strive to make it right? The one who will fix what’s broken and learn from your errant ways? Or will you move on down the line as if nothing ever happened?

Your answer depends largely on who you are on the inside. Your moral compass, the standards you set for yourself, your drive to learn and improve — these will all define the choices you make in these moments.

It’s been said that one’s true character is illuminated by the fires of adversity. Well, mistakes are self-inflicted episodes of adversity. The aftermath of these gaffes provide the opportunity for you to show who you truly are and how you can make a difference.

So own your mistakes. Then rectify them.

The Constants In Change

Things ain’t what they used to be.

These days, it seems as if our world is changing at the speed of light. Fifteen years ago, the Internet was still a shiny new toy; today that toy is in our pockets, on our wrists and even accessible in Gabon. The way we travel and live is being reimagined by Uber, urbanization…and soon, self-driving cars. How we live, what we eat, where we shop, who we interact with (and when we make those interactions) — it’s all being revolutionized.

This is far from the first time that a cultural shift has transformed society. The renaissance, the dawn of capitalism, the inventions of the telephone, railroad and car — these have all led to seismic shifts of thought. But something feels different this time, arrogantly different. And frankly, it’s a bit frightening.

You see, the trail towards our Technocultural Revolution was paved by those who didn’t just break the rules of conventional thought, but instead blew those rules to bits. Tech giants Apple, Microsoft and Facebook were created by college dropouts — and opinionated college dropouts at that — who weren’t going to let the rules of the past interfere with their visions of the future.

As a result of this thinking, Apple, Facebook and Microsoft — along with companies such as Google and Amazon, which were actually founded by college graduates — took the world by fire, redefining norms not only for technology, but also corporate society. (Look no further than the proliferation of startups to see my point in technicolor.) This is all fine and good on a basic level, but the imprint these companies have left on our culture is a double-edged sword.

Too often today, there is a prevailing attitude that the past is wrong. As a new generation of adults settles into urban apartments — and eschews the car, cable TV and other amenities for smartphones with access to Netflix and Snapchat — they quickly wage war on the world they’re leaving behind. While suburbia might be inefficient, gas guzzlers might be bad for the environment, and red meat and gluten-rich might not be the healthiest dietary choices, this ain’t exactly the Jedi/Sith showdown our now-dominant culture is making things out to be. As a suburbanite with an SUV and a hankering for a home-cooked steak every now and then, I can attest that the old ways can work just fine. And countless people were able to meet, fall in love and get married long before the advent of Tinder.

This ultra-defiant attitude young adults display toward the norms of yesterday is obnoxious on its owns. But as it spreads to other sectors — such as commerce and politics — it becomes extremely dangerous. In the midst of the race to reinvent culture, the rising leaders of today would be wise to remember the past — even if only to avoid repeating it.

Take a look at what’s happening right now. Many young adults might not care that oil prices and Wall Street are in a tailspin — after all, their life choices have led them away from a dependence on both. But recessions affect everyone, irreparably damaging both lifestyles and futures. “Outsider” Presidential candidates (on both sides of the aisle) threatening to bulldoze and redefine our federal government might be seen as the saviors of a “broken” Washington, but let us not forget that this was exactly the scenario that led the the rise of Nazi Germany. (Think that’s too far off-base? We already have one extremely popular candidate threatening to remove Muslims and Hispanics from our nation.)

It’s naïve, selfish and shortsighted to think that throwing out the past in favor of the future will lead to the world singing Kumbaya around a campfire. The world simply doesn’t work that way. Instead, it’s important to have some constants in the process of change, as all that which came before us could help us better define what comes after us.

As we move forward, our collective boat should navigate the crests of change with the swells of constants. This way, we all may adapt and thrive, instead of capsize and drown.

Adapting Our Expectations

Another Super Bowl has come and gone.

Our biggest sporting and television spectacle brings its quirks with it — commercials people actually pay attention to, a halftime concert featuring a bizarre mix of artists, political statements and semi-elaborate sets, and a hefty amount of overindulgence. It also brings us some memorable moments, and a newly minted National Football League champion.

The NFL’s Most Valuable Player, Cam Newton, was not that champion this year. But after the confetti rained down and the Vince Lombardi Trophy was raised up by his opponents — the Denver Broncos — he became one of the game’s memorable moments.

Meeting with the hordes of media — as is his obligation after the game — Newton looked morose. So often bold and outspoken, the 6’5” quarterback seemed to be hiding under his Carolina Panthers hoodie, quietly giving one or two word answers before storming off.

It was not what anyone was looking for from the new face of football. Even in his early days in the league, when struggles and frustration were commonplace, Newton spoke candidly about his need for self improvement. Now, on the game’s biggest stage, Cam let his emotions get the best of him. And he got roasted for it.

I don’t believe that’s right.

It’s easy for the media to demonize those who don’t play by their rules or expectations. I know this innately, because I used to be in the media. But what I don’t know is what it feels like to fail in front of 115 million people and then candidly answer tough questions about how I’ve failed.

I can’t imagine how brutal that would feel — even though I have a folder in my inbox filled with 150 job rejection emails I received three years ago during my career transition. I was out of work for 3 months back then, living week by week in a hotel in a strange city, with no friends nearby to keep my spirits up and job rejection after job rejection eating into my soul as my savings were slowly depleted.

Needless to say, it was a low and frustrating time for me — but I didn’t have to answer pointed questions about it in full view of half the country.

Think about it. We all have times where we felt like that, where we wanted to be left alone. So did Cam. But he couldn’t be left alone, so he did what he could to power through the situation and move on. And he damn sure did a better job than I would have done in that situation.

It’s time we adapt our expectations. Not everyone can be like Newton’s Super Bowl opponent, Peyton Manning — who, after a brutal double overtime playoff loss in 2013, answered every question thrown his way before quietly going to the opponent’s locker room to congratulate Ray Lewis (who would retire after winning the Super Bowl weeks later). That’s the standard the media sets, but it really should be considered above and beyond.

Cam Newton is an amazing talent, a phenomenal athlete and a heck of a football player. He’s a leader, an inspiration and, by all accounts, a great person. He’s brash and flamboyant, but also strong and determined. He’s the face of football for years to come.

We caught him at his lowest in the aftermath of Super Bowl 50. He’ll learn from it, he’ll adapt and he’ll grow.

When it comes to our expectations, it’s high time we did too.

A Pressing Transformation

As I was out shopping for golf spikes a few weeks ago, my mind (quite naturally) fixated on one name: Johannes Gutenberg.

Let me explain.

You see, a trip to the golf store is never simple for someone with wide feet — especially when that person is on the hunt for the elusive black Nike spikes that will fit him, both in style and comfort. Inevitably, some poor employee will swing by and try in vain to find me what I’m looking for; when this happens, I’ll invariably start thinking about how it is that people can make their living selling golf equipment.

Zooming out further, I’ll start considering how an entire industry has cropped up around what is — at its most basic elements — an elaborate obstacle course. There’s plenty of money to be made in golf — not only for those on the PGA Tour, but also for those caddying, teaching lessons, managing the grounds or working the pro shop. It’s impressive, but it’s also confounding.

As far as I know, golf started out not much different than lawn games like croquet did. It was a high-class form of entertainment that rewarded those most skilled at hitting a ball around a course and into certain access points quickly.

Golf wasn’t an occupation back then. In fact, there were few occupations in Scotland of the Middle Ages — or anywhere else, for that matter. Society was mostly agrarian, with families working the land to provide for their own while under the reign of a king or queen. Communities were segregated, and ideas did not have the technology to spread to the masses quickly; both of these factors helped keep the system in place.

Enter Mr. Gutenberg.

By bringing the printing press to the Western world, Gutenberg allowed society to spread ideas both quickly and widely — all through the power of the written word. Enlightenment soon swept across Europe, followed by industrialization and the dawn of capitalism. Eventually, governments replaced monarchies, Europeans founded new nations in the Americas and an industrialized, free market began to redefine the world.

So what does this have to do with golf?

Well, as the world changed following Gutenberg’s innovation, golf changed with it. The game gradually transformed from a marginalized leisure activity in a collection of hilly fiefdoms to a global phenomenon that’s enjoyed by a wider variety of people.

Golf has also found its way into the heart of the capitalist commercial world. People are much more likely to play golf on business than, say, baseball. This fact (along with the exclusive allure of the country club) has helped make the golf course a staple of the landscape in America and countless other nations. It’s also led to the growth of that lucrative golf industry I come in contact with when I need golf spikes, or to take a couple dozen hacks at the range.

So thank you, Mr. Gutenberg. Without your printing press, the world would be a far different place. And without as much golf in it, I dare say it would be a sad place too.